The Style Therapist

The Style Therapist Has Moved!

2010-03-22T15:45:00.005-04:00

Check out the new Style Therapy-focused blog See Your Style! It's street style generated by you...with a bit of Style Therapist knowledge thrown in.

E-mail (seeyourstyle@gmail.com) a head-to-toe picture with your first name, occupation and city, as well as identifying each item that you're wearing.

But They're Known for Raincoats

2009-10-13T18:45:00.000-04:00

I have a bit of a conundrum. I purchased a beautiful, black drawstring bag online a while back. It's made of a lovely pebble grain texture and holds just the right amount of excess. There's a bit of hardware, too, but it's a tasteful amount. The problem is that wherever there is hardware, there's the company name engraved in sizeable lettering.

I only have a couple of bags with logos or names as a part of the design—and I tend not to wear them terribly often. But I'm not sure if I'm more concerned about the name being there because it's so large or because of who made it. The company is known more for rain mackintoshes, not fine accessories. It's not Burberry, either. At least they've successfully executed a full lifestyle brand with Christopher Bailey at the helm.

Since this mystery company just entered the leather goods universe within the past couple of years, they haven't established themselves as purveyors of luxe looks. Their trench coats are ok, but they're more high school principal during a rainstorm than Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

I've been considering taking it to my cobbler to have him turn the offending grommets inside out. I thought my days of Labelwhorism were over. Perhaps your local Style Therapist isn't as above the nonsense of associating worth with labels as once thought.

I've worn the bag in public once, but it was dark and raining. It's certainly not fair of me to tell my clients not to get caught up in designers and brands if my Labelwhorism isn't totally cured. I've taken a couple of extended release It's Not That Serious pills—prescribed by me, of course. Let's see if they work.

Best Dressed Video of the Day: Wild Child (Metal Week)

2009-10-13T17:43:00.000-04:00

Gut Feeling

2009-10-12T17:45:00.000-04:00

The other day I was shopping with a client in SoHo, and despite the throng of people crowding the sidewalks, I was able to witness one of the most egregious outfits I'd seen in a long time. Now, I never project my own personal taste onto my clients, but I do stress the importance of wearing clothing that is flattering on their individual frames.

A young lady, who couldn't have been more than a size 2, had created the illusion of a massive gut, à la Patrick Starfish. I first noticed her from behind because her silhouette was so extreme—not in an avante-garde or Talking Heads manner, either. She had on a charming tweed peplum style blazer, but she went down a treacherous trajectory when she decided to wear it with a billowy, bubble-style top and low-rise jeans.

Ladies, and you gentlemen, too, it's ok to create curves or definition where they may not exist to create balance. However, when the result is off-scale to your natural proportions, you can come off as a scorching, sweltering hot mess. Please check yourself before you wreck another outfit!

Best Dressed Video of the Day: Photograph (Metal Week)

2009-10-12T13:26:00.002-04:00

Table the Label: A Cautionary Tale of Labelwhorism

2009-10-09T11:07:00.000-04:00

Years ago, when I was barely into adulthood, I suffered from an acute case of Labelwhorism. I purchased items based on designer name, no matter how atrocious or unflattering. I'm embarrassed to mention the Cavalli jacket in a putrid mint green that made me look sallow or the Moschino nylon "leisure" jacket in a similarly nauseating color. Think Mike Brady office wear.

I wore each of these items only a handful of time, but never truly loved them. I moved on to sunglasses because they were less obvious. Oh! The marvelous, deep navy Dolce & Gabbana darkers that I was happy to wear, except for the fact that they crushed my temples because they were too small. I ended up losing them at the Metropolitan Drugs on 14th St. I'd popped them on top of my dome while cruising the aisles and didn't even realize they'd fallen off until they were long gone. Clearly I didn't miss them that much.

But the ones I remember most are the Fendi shades I bought so I could get the case with the signature Zucca print. FFFFFFFFFs for days. Like the Dolces, they weren't the greatest fit. The bridge was too wide, but I managed to balance them on my face for a minute. However, when I lost these, I was a bit more miffed because they weren't lost, they were purloined by some tweens in New Jersey.

Picture it. Giants Stadium. June 2001. I was attending the 'N Sync Pop Odyssey Tour. My friend had tickets and the group put on a marvelous show. I have no shame in admitting I had a great time. When we arrived, it was still sunny, so I kept my darkers on. As dusk came, then eventually nightfall, I tucked them in my tote bag, which had no closure.

I kept my bag either on my lap or at my feet. Somewhere in between It's Gonna Be Me and the closing song Bye Bye Bye, one of those screaming brace-faced youngins sitting behind me snatched my little conspicuously consumed item. Bye bye bye was right.

Admittedly, the constant sliding down my face made me not miss the glasses terribly, but the fact that some gals sitting directly behind me could snatch them with such ease was unsettling. Those girls are young women now—around the same age I was when I attended the concert. I'm not one to indulge in schadenfreude, but I certainly believe in karma. Hopefully they got good wear out of the glasses...someone had to! But I do hope they didn't graduate to stick-ups or grand larceny.

I have one pair of sunglasses now; they're Italian like the rest of them, but the name isn't worth mentioning. They're simple and inconspicuous, with the name ingraved in tiny lettering at the temples. They suit my face and, just as importantly, they're comfortable. I've had them for a good 8 years now and have taken them to different countries without incident.

The moral of the story is to buy based on how appropriate an item is for you, your body, your lifestyle, and your existing wardrobe. Roberto, Stefano, Domenico and Karl are not sponsoring you. They're not paying you to wear their wares. So listen to Mr. T. and "Table the label."

Best Dressed Video of the Day: Light Up the Night (Disco Week)

2009-10-07T14:18:00.002-04:00

What a Waist

2009-10-06T16:37:00.004-04:00

I own a vintage, dirndl-style Yves Saint Laurent skirt that's one of the most cherished items in my wardrobe. It's from the designer's Spring 1980 Rive Gauche collection and it's constructed from a beautiful black cotton that's simultaneously sturdy and soft.

One would think, once you go ready-to-wear you never go back, but there's a little thing called cost of living in NYC. So I make due with what I have. One day very soon though...

The skirt is exactly the size of my waist—no bigger, no smaller. I'd been wearing it all morning two Fridays ago, and up until lunch time, I was quite comfortable. However, I stuffed an entire platter of Indian food down my throat. Let's not forget that nan expands once it settles into your digestive system...or at least it feels like that. Some bubbles from a bottle of San Pellegrino helped, but that didn't cure my overstuffed feeling.

Later that night I met up with Jess to see Fat City at Film Forum. After the film we noticed David Byrne in the lobby. And to strike up a conversation, I thanked him for all of his Brazilian Luaka Bop releases and kept it moving. Perhaps one day Mr. Byrne will be thanking me for spreading the Style Therapy message to the masses?

In any case, Jess and I (sans David Byrne) headed to El Paso on West Houston for dinner. Who does Indian and Mexican in span of 6 hours? Your Style Therapist, that's who. After downing the most beautiful chimichanga I've seen in a while, I began to feel the repercussions. You know those pregnant women who are in denial and insist on wearing their pre-baby bump clothes and belts tightened to conceal their condition? That's how I felt. How my skirt made it home without ripping at the seams is a miracle.

My natural waist had expanded by a good 3", and mind you, there's no elasticity, whatsoever, in my favorite skirt. The only casualty was a button that had been a little dangly prior to my gluttony. This is a cautionary tale to all of my beautiful clients. Please, when wearing your more more choice pieces that can't be replaced, stay away from the curry vindaloo.

Best Dressed Video of the Day: Do or Die (Disco Week)

2009-10-06T14:01:00.000-04:00

Sunday Best Has Evolved Into a Hot Mess

2009-10-06T10:09:00.001-04:00

This past Sunday I went to a christening at a local church. The interior was rich in religious motifs with biblical references showcasing lush colored stained glass windows. Frescoes on the ceiling beautifully depicted Christ, the Virgin Mary, along with angels and apostles. While it wasn't as vast as St. Peter's Basilica, it was comparable in its grandeur.

Despite this ministerial magnificence, I felt overdressed as opposed to underdressed in my simple, black knee-length dress with 3/4 sleeves and princess seams. The majority of the congregation, with the exception of the friends and family of the little guest of honor, were dressed in everything from swishy, nylon track pants, to camouflage printed sweats, and well-worn running sneakers.

Back in my day, before I became a heathen and went to church every Sunday, men donned suits and ties and women wore dresses or skirts. Now I don't believe that God cares what we wear when we worship Him, but I think we should. Some people looked like they'd just rolled out of bed. In fact, one woman I was sitting behind had bed head—literally. There was a big old section of her hair that had clearly been flattened out by her pillow. She didn't even run a comb through her head.

I understand the house of the Lord is meant to be all-inclusive. No one should ever be made to feel unworthy of being there. I know at times church can feel like a fashion show for folks. Some worshipers are more concerned with who's wearing what than the message in the sermon of the day. My point is that no one would ever go to a job interview in track pants or partying at the club in dirty, faded jeans.

I know it's 2009 and not everyone needs to wear a floral dress with an Easter bonnet, but can we pretend like we're someplace special? Church or temple or the mosque are not the same as a tailgate party at Giants Stadium or running to the bodega for some Ding-Dongs. If we're going to do the casual thing at our respective places of worship, can we at least be neat about it? Whether it's jeans and sneakers or dresses and pumps, let's make sure there are no wrinkles or stains. Forget about God saving the queen, I pray that He can save us from hotmessness.

Best Dressed Video of the Day: Hit and Run (Disco Week)

2009-10-05T16:28:00.000-04:00

Every Girl's (and Security Guard) Crazy 'Bout a Sharp Dressed Man

2009-10-05T14:22:00.000-04:00

Whether or not you believe that the suit makes the man or the man makes the suit, it's worth noting that the suit can be your get-out-of-jail-for-free card. Last week Wednesday, Ronald Tackman, a career criminal decided to bring his sartorial A-game to the next level. A level your Style Therapist didn't even know existed. He escaped from the Manhattan Criminal Court Building by assuming the role of a sharply dressed attorney. He was so convincing a court officer even asked, "Counselor, what are you doing here?"

For all you naysayers out there who still don't believe how you're dressed counts for something, enjoy your pitiful existence in your stained college sweatshirt and crumpled corduroy blazer with elbow patches falling off. Yes, Susie Dirtyshirt of Kalamazoo, Michigan. I'm talking to you! How many sweatshirts can one person own? Don't think you're off the hook Professor Ian Messy of Park Slope. You've been sporting the same tired tenured tuxedo (corduroy blazer and matching slacks) for far too long now. You think it's beneath your intellect to care about your appearance, yet you spend a good 15 minutes disarranging your hair to give it that unkempt, "I care about more cerebral things" effect. By default, you're not better than the rest of us in terms of self-branding, or you would have cut off that bird's nest a long time ago.

Despite my tiny tangent, I hope everyone realizes the importance of putting a bit of effort into appearance and carriage. I'm not condoning Mr. Tackman's behavior, but I must give credit where it's due. Clothing counts and the sooner we get our arithmetic together, the sooner we can escape the imprisonment of stale style.

Why I Do What I Do

2009-10-04T10:45:00.001-04:00

I took a sabbatical from The Style Therapist blog this summer. A little traveling was involved (Barcelona, Rome and upstate New York), but I never took a break from actual Style Therapy. Style Therapy never sleeps!

I linked up with the client I've been praying for the entire time I've been helping folks make their closets more efficient. She's got a marvelous attitude and we've essentially recreated her new wardrobe from scratch. After a Closet Detox and our initial shopping trip to Saks, she wrote me the loveliest note:

Hi Simone!!

We were out of town and I have been meaning to drop you a quick email. I cannot thank you enough for your assistance on Thursday! I have never had a better time shopping that I can remember. You made me feel comfortable, energized and eager to get out there and shop for things that I need for work clothing…but also want to be excited about!! Your assistance made me feel special, and I am convinced that guy in the Saks shoe dept thought I was famous!!

I wore my new skirt, top, jacket and shoes on Friday for a presentation and I felt like a million bucks! In addition, my clients were able to pick up on my positive attitude and good feelings, which made our appointment (and my presentation) that much more fun and interesting!!

When can we get together again? I am really excited for our next adventure.

{Wiping away a tear}

This is what makes Style Therapy worthwhile. It's not simply about getting rid of the clothes you don't want or haven't worn in a while. It's harnessing the positive energy that can result from bringing your sartorial A-game. Remember, a hot mess closet reaps a hot mess life.

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Spring Love (Freestyle Weekend)

2009-04-11T12:03:00.000-04:00

Let 'er Rip

2009-04-11T11:09:00.001-04:00

I don't know why this is becoming a trend, but some young "ladies" have been roaming around the downtown area of the city wearing ripped tights. Now I'm a child of the 80s, I understand the concept of ripping perfectly good clothing. I think the look is tired and unbecoming, but if you insist on doing it, make sure you have the gams to back it up. The girls I've noticed are no match for Betty Grable and her legs.

With Style Therapy I stress to my clients to embrace their bodies and dress the body they have now. Play up what you're proud of and camouflage areas you're not terribly pleased with. In other words, work with what you've got.

The lasses I've been seeing are on the shorter, stumpier side. Their goal should be a streamlined look to create length in the legs. In this case less truly is more. The rips and holes create such an ugly and unpleasant leg, aside from the sloppy slob factor, the eye races all over the place, creating more width than length.

Some of you may be saying, "Style Therapist, maybe these girls like their less-than-long-and-lean legs." If they truly loved their less-than-long-and-lean legs, they'd pretty them up, not dirty them up with tattered hosiery.

Lovey Dovey is Yucky Yucky: Get a Room!

2009-04-10T14:07:00.002-04:00

Love is in the air, but in a rather polluted form. The other day I was waiting for the train to come and I witnessed some of the most egregious attentionwhoritis I'd see in a while. There was a young couple who seemed more in love with the attention they were receiving than with each other. The female had on a bright fuchsia bubble jacket (look at me! look at me!) with an equally bright purple purse. Her brown hair was streaked in orange and black stripes. And she finished off her look with black tights and well-worn Uggs. Her man was wearing quiet, muted colors. His dirty blond hair was as flavorless as his moss-colored parka.

What made this duo spectacularly annoying was her bizarre habit of picking him. She was a petite young woman and he was more of a lanky beanstalk, so she barely got him off of the ground. But she kept trying and trying and where she was trying is what made this couple so unbearable. These two goons were smack in the middle of the platform, so passersby had to be quite strategic if they wanted to maneuver around them. While girlfriend picked up boyfriend, boyfriend was looking around to see who was enjoying their lighthearted love. It wasn't a look of embarrassment. It read more like, "Aren't we cute in love?" No sir, you two are repugnant.

Back on Valentine's Day, again I was on a train, this time it was the L—you know how that goes. The Admiral and I were sitting down after a lovely (but not too mushy) day. Standing over us was a young lady with her ironically (or sincerely) unkempt boyfriend. She was kissing on him and he was kissing on her. In her hands she gripped one of those pitiful roses wrapped in cellophane. That's not what was offensive. Her goon of a boyfriend and I were facing off in a staring contest. I'm not sure if he 1) wanted me to see how great of a boyfriend he was for giving his girlfriend a lone, pitiful rose wrapped in cellophane, 2) wanted me to join in, or 3) was suffering from a bad case of attentionwhoritis. I hope he read in my face that I thought he was a gross, damn fool.

This past Wednesday I was on a rush hour train with an equally annoying couple. Again, it was the male who was committing the majority of the egregious acts. First of all, we're supposed to do our best to "stand clear of the doors." The train was crowded, but not that crowded where one couldn't grab onto a pole. This couple glued themselves to the doors and whispered and forehead kissed and pinched and tickled and giggled for all of us to see. The young man attempted to make eye contact with several people as this foolishness was going on. Your poor Style Therapist was one of the victims. I hope my visceral reaction was enough to show him that I thought he and his lady were whackadoodles.

My point isn't to knock young love, it's to bring light to how gross it is to have an intimate moment in a public place and then scan the area to see who's looking! Parents, please give your children attention so they don't grow up to be adults with acute cases of attentionwhoritis. Then they become society's problem.

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Don't Be Cruel (New Jack Swing Week)

2009-04-07T13:21:00.000-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Just Got Paid (New Jack Swing Week)

2009-04-06T14:15:00.001-04:00

New Service: Star Style Guide

2009-04-06T13:30:00.000-04:00

Hello Beautiful People!

If there's one thing I love as much as fashion and art, it's astrology. I believe it's a marvelous way for us to discover the very essence of who we are objectively. The best way to figure this out is to know our birth chart (also known as natal chart). This tells us every aspect of our personality: who we are in public and private, our role at work, how we deal with romantic and platonic relationships; etc. We can't be our best selves if we haven't the slightest clue who we are.

Which brings us to Style Therapy. As I've stressed, my mission with Style Therapy is teach wardrobe efficiency and effective non-verbal communication through dress. If you're unaware of who you are, you can't possibly be dressing with yourself in mind. That's why I've launched a new service for the more evolved of you out there.

With your Star Style Guide you'll receive an in-depth analysis of your birth chart that includes what I think you should be wearing to maximize sartorial synergy. My Virgos should not be walking around dressed like Aquarians. And my Scorpios should not be shopping in the same manner a Gemini would. All twelve signs are different, but when we delve much deeper and discover all the aspects included in our birth charts, we'll look at ourselves in a new light and adjust our wardrobes and shopping habits to suit ourselves.

The steps are quite easy:

1. E-mail me at simone@swstyletherapy.com with your date of birth, place of birth (include city, state/country so I know the time zone), and time of birth (as close as possible—no worries if you don't know.)

2. I'll e-mail you back a confirmation and a prompt to login to your Paypal account, click on the "Send money" tab and type "advice@swstyletherapy.com" in the "To" box, and "40.00" in the "Amount" box.

I can hear it now. Some of you are saying, "$40?! Style Therapist I can't afford $40." I know who you are. You're the same one who was in the club with that Forever 21 dress you only plan on wearing once. We've been over this. Cost per wear! I'm trying to save you time and money in the future. From the bottom of my heart, I want you to always bring your A-game. Bring your A-game to pick up milk at the bodega. Bring your A-game to work. Bring your A-game to meet the parents. Bring your A-game because you know you're worth it! And the most efficient way to sartorial self-discovery is through a Star Style Guide.

I don't claim to see into your future like Miss Cleo or read your energy like CB Walker, but I can guarantee you the best wardrobe specifically for you! If we don't have sartorial synergy, we're basically a walking, steaming, sweltering hot mess.

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Body (Jacksons Week)

2009-04-03T11:58:00.000-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Blame It on the Boogie (Jacksons Week)

2009-04-02T11:51:00.001-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Torture (Jacksons Week)

2009-04-01T11:53:00.000-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Heart Don't Lie (Jacksons Week)

2009-03-31T13:37:00.002-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Say Say Say (Jacksons Week)

2009-03-30T14:37:00.001-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Week: You're My Driving Wheel

2009-03-29T14:29:00.001-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Skin Tight

2009-03-28T11:27:00.000-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day (Chas Jankel Week): Number One

2009-03-27T10:27:00.001-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day (Chas Jankel Week): Glad to Know You

2009-03-26T10:23:00.000-04:00

Rei Kawakubo Knows What's Up

2009-03-25T14:38:00.000-04:00

I own a flat, black leather Comme des Garçons (no, not from the H & M line; we've been over this) tote bag. It's by far the simplest accessory I own. There are no pockets, buttons, zippers, bells, or whistles; just two panels of leather and two handles. Most interestingly is how the bag was designed to carry only the essentials. While the bag is deep, if I carry a bottle of water, the shape is grossly distorted, compromising the aesthetic integrity of the bag.

I think our girl Rei Kawakubo knew exactly what was up when she conceived this bag. The only way this tote can retain its shape is if I kept my impedimenta to a minimum. Interesting word, impedimenta. It's the Latin plural for impedimentum, which means "baggage or other things that retard one's progress." Basically JUNK.

As our bags continue to grow bigger—in essence the SUVs of leather goods—we manage to stuff them with impedimenta: fat wallets, two-way pagers, mobiles, bottles of San Pelligrino, iPods, brown bag lunch (we're in a recession, remember?), check books, makeup case, scarf to accommodate the indecisive weather, last month's Bazaar, this month's Paris Vogue, feminine hygiene products, Moleskine notebook, moisturizer, Altoids, lip balm, sunglasses, sunglasses case we never put the sunglasses in, French pocket dictionary even though the trip to Paris was over two years ago, phone charger, those MC Hammer pants that refuse to float away so we plan on consigning them, flats to change into when the heels get to be too much, impedimenta that's been under our work desks for month, ticket stubs, loose receipts, camera and camera case we never put the camera in, Hi-Liter markers, Sharpie markers, mechanical pencil, book we should be reading but haven't gotten to because of the Bazaar and Vogue, yesterday's lunch from Los Dados, a smaller bag for later in the evening because this tote bag is too big, big tub of cocoa butter...

And we wonder why one shoulder is lower than the other.

The New Crackhead: Crack Really Is Whack

2009-03-25T14:17:00.000-04:00

Remember my little visit to the Armory Show with the loutish and oafish gallerists from around the world? Well, I'm afraid I neglected to include a new trend I began to notice there. It may not even be a new trend per se, but it wasn't until then that I really got a good look at it. The context was different than walking down a random street. I expected people to be dressed comfortably for all of the walking around, but with some degree of refinement. We're looking at art, right?

Apparently, I'm an old fart who takes sartorial practices and manners a little too seriously. Speaking of flatulence, this "new" trend has to do with the posterior. It has come to my attention that it's now acceptable to show one's crack when seated. No longer the domain of the bent-over/squatting plumber, the exposed crack is essentially southern cleavage.

The Armory Show's seated visitors aren't the only ones with vertical lines on full display. Restaurants, stadium bleachers, and park benches all play host to the new crackhead.

People, people, people (shaking head). Come on. This lowrise business has not only created muffin tops but butt cracks free in the breeze. I know those of you who indulge in this vulgar practice can feel the air. It's not from ignorance. You feel it! For one, the daily high temperatures are still relatively low. Let's not even talk about how incredibly sloppy this look is. It's even crossed over to celebrities and lad mags. Cracks are not sexy! What happened to A-game and neatness counting? Pun coming up...we've got to draw the line somewhere.

Style Therapy Video of the Day (Chas Jankel Week): Get Myself Together

2009-03-25T10:20:00.001-04:00

Size Zeroes Can Be Muffins, Too

2009-03-24T12:37:00.000-04:00

When I was in Miami this past December, the Admiral and I had brunch at an overpriced, palate-underwhelming restaurant along Collins Avenue in South Beach. Like many cities with true tropical climates, clothing is often brightly colored to reflect the natural hues in the environment, spare to accommodate the heat, and tight to show off a beach-ready body.

I grew up in South Florida, so I'm used to the stark sartorial differences between the Sunshine State and the Big Apple. But when I was a young lass, we didn't have muffin tops. Even though this trend (no doubt inspired by celebrity moms-to-be) has been relentless for the past five years or so , I've never grown accustomed to it. For the life of me I can't wrap my brain around it. Those Hollywood moms get away with exposing their bellies because there's a person living in them. Regular guts don't count. But for the record, I don't think an exposed gut on the street is cute whether you're preggers or not. Octomom anyone?

I just want to know why a young lady would leave her home with her gut spilling out? I don't have a six-pack like a That's the Way Love Goes Janet. And no one knows that because I keep my tummy under wraps. Even Janet lost her That's the Way Love Goes six-pack.

Muffin tops are usually seen on naturally thicker girls. Remember, Style Therapy is all about embracing the body you have now! None of this, "I need to lose 5 lbs. before I can bring my A-game." So I'm not knocking thicker girls. But the Collins Avenue muffin top I saw on that fateful day was no thick girl. If I had to guess her size, she's hovering somewhere in the 0 to 2 zone. I'd never seen anything like it before. Her waify body was carrying Homer Simpson's gut. In her lowrise jeans and too-short top, she was letting it all hang out. Now I'm not contradicting myself here. I said embrace your body as it is now, not walk around town looking like a hot mess. Neatness counts whether you're a 0 or 22; NEATNESS COUNTS!!

It's ok not to have washboard abs. It's not ok to look like you're being squeezed to death by your jeans. Ladies (and gentleman), let's all take a few extra seconds to examine ourselves in the mirror before we walk out the door. Check to make sure there are no hanging threads, stains, lint, loose buttons, or loose guts. Remember your A-game doesn't consist of exposed gut-flesh. And as for you six-packers out there. I know you've worked hard to get to this point and I applaud your efforts. But frankly, I don't want to see your guts either. Open-air stomachs are for the beach, the gym, and MAYBE the club on the RAREST of occasions, not for the streets. The only person this looks cute on is Dora; and she's subtle about it.

Style Therapy Video of the Day (Chas Jankel Week): Questionnaire

2009-03-24T10:19:00.000-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day (Chas Jankel Week): Ai No Corrida

2009-03-23T11:12:00.001-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Steppin' Out

2009-03-22T14:04:00.000-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Self Control

2009-03-21T11:01:00.001-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Let Your Feelings Show

2009-03-20T10:30:00.000-04:00

Mood Shifters

2009-03-19T15:07:00.003-04:00

My beautiful people, there's nothing more un-stylish than a sour mood accompanied by a screwface. For you Secret believers out there, you know all it takes is a mood shifter to elevate our spirits. A mood shifter can be anything from a scent that takes us back to happier place, a food that heightens are tastebuds, or a detailed image that puts a smile on our face. For me, it's usually the thought of a late 1980s heavy metal band comprised of drunk basset hounds. But for others, it could be one of the Macho Man's appearance on The Arsenio Hall Show. Below is a list of videos/songs that always work out any bad kink in my mood. If these don't work on you, you may need to see a professional.

1. I'm Ready-Kano: Keep an eye out for Diane and Lumberjack at 1:17.

2. Disco Bambina-Heather Parisi: The song is absurd and her Italian is questionable—and that's rich coming from me and my one pathetic semester of studying the language—but it's earned the right to be on this list.

3. Basset Hound Puppies: If this doesn't erase your screwface, there aren't enough meds in the world to cure you of your ills.

4. A Basset is an Asset: Yes, another basset hound video. How this hasn't penetrated the Billboard Hot 100 is a mystery to me. They ride motorbikes, too (2:17).

5. Rubberband-The Spinners: These guys knew how to perform. Now this is showbiz. Talk about A-game! A powder blue tux with ruffles never looked so good.

6. Jim Gillette's Scream: You don't have to be a metal head to appreciate this man's vocal range.

7. Macho Man on Arsenio Hal: Find out what the difference is between MachoMadness and Hulkamania. It'll change your life.

8. What's Up With You: Michael Jackson and Eddie Murphy: I don't recall this video from its debut in the early 90s. A friend introduced it to me just last year. It's simultaneously disturbing and heart-warming.

9. Children's Palace Commercial: Peter Panda has the same effect on me as the What's Up With You video.

10. Shake It Up Tonight: Aside from the basset hounds, this puts me in the most stellar mood. Do you see young people? You do not need to grind on each other at the club in order to have a good time.

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Ain't Gonna Hurt Nobody

2009-03-19T11:07:00.000-04:00

Is Label-less Worth Less?

2009-03-19T10:10:00.003-04:00

I own the loveliest Martin Margiela grey sweatshirt. I love you sweet sweatshirt! I wear it quite often and in a world of different ways. It's no secret how much I adore the staff at the Maison on Greenwich Street and how I enjoy the deals at Century 21. But at the end of day, when all of the work is done and the kids are tucked away, it's just a simple grey sweatshirt.

For some time the label has been dangling by dint of a loose thread on the back of the pullover. I'm not a good sewer, not even in the rudimentary sense of the word. So when it falls, it's gone. But I often wonder, my beautiful people, is a Margiela (or any other designer piece) worth any less without the label to identify it. On a consignment or resale level, absolutely. The store buyer and the potential customers have no way of knowing if something is made by a specific designer without documentation—the label.

I don't foresee myself parting with this plain, little number any time soon. But even in the quiet of my own closet, do the labels matter. I'm afraid I have to answer in the affirmative. I pride myself on not being a label-whore in the most obvious sense. You know the type, LV, F, GG, and CC plastered all over bags, jackets, sneakers, visors, and umbrellas. But I'm no better than they are. I just keep my label obsession/complex under wraps. Literally. I do, however, have some vintage Gucci bags that I carry on occassion. (Check out works by artists Peter Gronquist and Tom Sachs for more on fetishization and consumerism.)

From birth we're all about validation. Whether we're getting high-fives from dad for receiving high marks on our report card or hearing mom brag about how pretty we are to her friends, we're reminded that our self-worth is quantifiable. Some folks manifest it differently. A Maseratti does the trick for the recently signed rapper, while getting that corner office is just what the father-of-three in the suburbs needs to feel special.

I'm certainly not saying that if I were stripped of all my sartorial goodies I would instantly perish. I've got some clothing hanging in my closet that's on the bottom rung in terms of designer hierarchy. Mystique and Necessary Clothing in SoHo anyone? No doubt there's an issue of quality, but that label still has a powerful presence no matter how ill-fitting or well-made the garment is. And on some level, I have to dress a certain way to attract more clients for Style Therapy. But there's one thing we must remember. I don't mean to get all Joel Osteen, but God doesn't love us any less if we wear Mystique instead of Margiela or shop at Filene's instead of Fendi. And the Style Therapist doesn't love any less either. ((Hugs))

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Chega Mais

2009-03-18T11:23:00.001-04:00

When You Take A Picture of Yourself...

2009-03-18T10:37:00.000-04:00

My beautiful people, when you take a picture of yourself, please remember to crop your arm out of the picture. We've all taken personal snapshots for either a laugh or do to sheer boredom. But I would argue that at times, self-picture-taking is akin to talking to yourself; but that's not what this post's about. We're talking about self-branding.

I can't tell you how many Facebook profiles contain a large batch of people either snapping themselves in the mirror (the lowest of the low) or stretching out their arms and quickly taking a shot. In both cases, the subject can come across as being vain. Whether you are or not is beside the point. Others have taken pictures, with camera in full-view, of an outfit or haircut they thought was cute. Ain't no shame in that game. If you think you're cute, document it. But you lose cool points for doing it yourself...or at least clearly showing to the world that you're doing it yourself.

We live in a time of digital cameras. We're able to easily set these on timers, run to our spot, and make it look like a friend or loved one was so enamored of us that they had to take a picture straight away. But when you've got the camera in plain view? (Shaking head)

Come on beautiful people. Let's get ourselves together and stop being so obvious about it. Until we do have that friend or loved one at hand to snap a picture, set that timer! And if you can't set the timer, crop your arm out of the picture!

Camel

2009-03-17T17:07:00.001-04:00

The other day I made a trip over to Cognac to have brunch with a dear friend. Wanting to enjoy the unseasonably balmy weather, I waited outside and indulged in a bit of people-watching. Since the restaurant is as midtown as one could possibly get, there was an interesting mix of people. There were folks leaving the matinee showing of Shrek the Musical, looking up at the lights of Times Square with mouths agape, or heading up to Central Park in a hansom cab.

All of these people seemed like your everyday, run-of-the-mill, standard warm bodies roaming the streets at midday in midtown. But there was one who stuck out, I mean really stuck out. This young lady...and I use that term with a great deal of circumscription...in any case, this young lady was walking down the street in black leggings. No major calamity there. Who among us does not own a pair of black leggings? Let he who is without sin and black leggings cast the first stone. It wasn't that she showed up in black leggings, it's what the black leggings were showing. Her reproductive organs were there for the world to see. Everything! It's not as if these leggings were super tight, they were just thin and reflective.

Some of you are asking, "Style Therapist, why were you even looking?" Why was I looking? It's like asking someone not to look at Octomom's belly during her third trimester. The young woman's anatomy was THERE. She was just bopping down the street in her sunglasses and Urban Outfitters scarf, impervious to what was going on below her southern hemisphere. The fact that the fabric was shiny was not helping matters either.

My beautiful people, the moral of the story is to check and re-check your bits and pieces before you leave the house. Sure, some people enjoy exposing the imprint of their biology and others enjoy looking. These people are called perverts and you certainly don't want to be associated with them. Or do you?

I Confess

2009-03-17T14:47:00.000-04:00

I talk a lot about cost per wear. Basically you take the cost of your Proenza Schouler blazer (retails for $1,285) and divide it by the amount of times you wear it. So if you wear it every other day of the year (let's not factor in the dry cleaning bill just yet), that's roughly $7 each time you throw it over your shoulders. On the other hand, if you wear your Forever 21 floral strapless dress (retails for $22.80) to the club just that one time, then the cost per wear is $22.80. So in the long run, the higher priced item is the better value in this case. But that's not how we operate, is it?

Three years ago I had just started working with Tim Gunn at Parsons School of Design. Each year there's a benefit runway show that highlights the best and brightest of the graduating class. A lot of important people attend this show in hopes of finding America's Next Top Designer. From Anna Wintour to Barneys Julie Gilhart, true architects of fashion careers are seated at every other table.

While the evening was all about the students, I was not going to attend it in the printed pajama pants my Mommy sends me every Christmas. I set out to buy the most exquisite shoes I'd seen in a long time: the Yves Saint Laurent Dada pumps. When I was ready to purchase the shoes, a tiny voice told me to call up one of the stockists that sell YSL and have them put on hold until after work. Barneys didn't have them. Neither did Saks or Bergdorf's. I called both YSL boutiques and was relieved to find out that the second one had the last pair of size 38.5 in North America (this includes Canada and Mexico). Oh yes, there was another problem. Since I'd left a potentially lucrative career in pharmaceutical advertising for fashion, I'd taken a steep pay cut. I had to borrow the money from my boyfriend and pay him back in two installments. (Look of shame and embarrassment.)

At the 57th street boutique, the shoes felt like cinder blocks on a steep incline. I could barely walk in them and I certainly couldn't flex my feet; but I had to have them. The evening of the benefit show, I wore my beat-up flats to the venue and changed into the Dada pumps while sequestered upstairs. My boy Bill Clinton didn't notice them, but Anna Wintour certainly did. I saw her checking them out from a mile away and I felt marvelous! I felt even better after the event was over and I limped over several avenues to the subway, comfortably back in my beat-up flats.

You know how Oprah says that love shouldn't hurt? Well, neither should fashion. I only wear the Dadas once a year to keep the cost per wear ratio balanced and to prevent coming off as a hypocrite. I encourage all of my clients to donate or sell any items they haven't worn in over a year. Not only do I think the pumps make for great fashion, but I also regard them as a work of art; or at the very least, an important part of an important collection for YSL Creative Director Stefano Pilati. Excuses excuses. I'm a self-enabler. Sorry Dr. Phil.

eBay always has an abundance of Dada pumps, varying in color and style. Clearly there's a population of women (and men) out there who can't be bothered to walk around in these cinder blocks on nails. I'm not ready to give up mine just yet. I'm going to work with my cobbler to see what we can do to make them more comfortable. If that doesn't work, there's a spot saved for them on the mantle.

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Come Candela

2009-03-17T11:16:00.001-04:00

The GAULlery

2009-03-16T14:07:00.002-04:00

Last Sunday I attended the final day of the Armory Show at Piers 92 and 94 on the west side of town. A week earlier, I'd gone to the Works on Paper show at the Park Avenue Armory. Both events showcased modern and contemporary artists (established and rising...as well as a few old masters) represented by international galleries. Both events also showcased the rudest mongrels who were more concerned with eating their limp sandwiches and chatting with fellow gallerists than saying a quick "hello" to anyone who entered their lame cubicles.

You don't have to attend art fairs to be on the receiving end of this colossal level of incivility. There are enough shops around town with bad-mannered staff to fill a horn of plenty. Sometimes it seems the higher the quality and/or price tag, the clearer the view up the nostrils. But this isn't the case with everyone. I want to take this opportunity to offer some shoutouts and biggups to the ones who don't assume the naughty haughty attitude some feel they have to project when working within rarefied realms...there's a Duane Reade bonus shoutout, too!

1. The Armory Show: Garth and Sunny of Gary Snyder Project Space were the only ones out of all of those white cubes in both piers to say what's up. In this economy? In this bloody art market?! One?

2. Works on Paper: Hal Katzen of Hal Katzen Gallery. He not only said hello, but he spoke at length about the artists he represented and offered to negotiate the prices.

3. Jeffrey: Some times the staff can be a little hungry for their commission, but they're never to the point of breathing down your neck or following you around the store like a lost puppy. They seem genuinely warm. Perhaps some southern hospitality brought up north by Atlanta native Jeffrey Kalinsky? An early occupant of really far-West 14th Street (at no. 449), Jeffrey made it chic to go west. Before them, anyone headed in that area was most likely paying a visit to the Liberty Inn hourly motel.

4. Maison Martin Margiela: Located on the southern end of the Meatpacking at 803 Greenwich Street, I've never purchased a piece there. I get all of my Margiela at Century 21 for now. Shhh! This has never deterred this dedicated staff from helping me and thoroughly discussing the history of the Margiela's design philosophy and each season's collection. By far, the sincerest sales associates in all of New York City!

5. Zero Maria Cornejo: Located down the block from MMM at 807 Greenwich Street, unlike the Margiela outpost, I have dropped a few dollars here. Again, a knowledgeable, unaggressive staff more interested in ensuring a pleasurable shopping experience, as opposed to making sales.

6. Shelley Steffee: Around the corner at 34 Gansevoort Street is this marvelous boutique with truly beautiful pieces that are sculptural and cerebral without making you look like a damn fool. The space is gorgeous and the small staff is always willing to help without being pushy or impatient.

7. Theory: A couple of doors away at 38 Gansevoort Street is my old stomping ground. It's not because I used to work in the corporate headquarters upstairs; the sales staff in the flagship don't know who EVERYBODY is. Like the aforementioned shops above, the Theory crew was always warm, knowledgeable about the merchandise, and interested in creating a relationship with clients.

8. Comme des Garçons: Situated in the middle of the Chelsea gallery ghetto at 520 W. 22nd Street is this architectural masterpiece and discriminating shopper's emporium. Good luck getting that rather heavy-a** door open; but once you do, you'll be welcomed in. Like Martin Margiela, Kawakubo is a designer's designer. This mindset undoubtedly trickles down to the sales floor. When the clothes speak for themselves, there's really no need to put on airs. N'est pas?

9. Balenciaga: At 542 W. 22nd St, just down the block from Comme des Garçons, is this cavernous cache of high end goodies with a lovely sales staff.

10. Yohji Yamamoto: This brick and glass building at 1 Gansevoort Street, shaped like a slice of cheese, is anything but. Not only does it house some pretty pricey socks, but my boy Mauricio holds the fort down with his hooked mustached and shiny, bald head. The best thing about this Venezuelan transport isn't the fact that his business card says "entertainer" as his occupation, but that he wants to buy a goat. That being said, someone with such a colorful presence could never harbor the boorish and graceless demeanor of the gallerists at the shows and sales staff at some other designer boutiques.

**Duane Reade and Walgreens**: While not perched on the highest rung of the retail ladder, I have to give a special shoutout to the Duane Reade located on the corner of Third Avenue and 10th Street and the Walgreens at 20 Astor Place. The other day, at the Duane Reade, one of the associates at the register patiently listened to an older woman complain to him about how some young chick had referred to her Labrador Retriever as a beast. "No one calls my dog a beast!" She assured the young man as he nodded in agreement. The line was building up a little, but he never rushed her and she talked about how great her dog was. This may have not been the most efficient thing to do, but she was clearly a frequent customer and he gave her the respect he thought she deserved. Hats off to you, young man with the cornrows and winning smile!

The folks further down at the Walgreens are by far the most professional sales associates out of all the pharmacies in town. The other day I needed to purchase some products that every woman has to purchase throughout the year. When I reached over the young man restocking these items, I made a silly joke and we both had a bit of a laugh. At some other store, my business may have been put over the PA system. You know how they do.

In conclusion, I'd like to stress that an affected superior air will win you no friends, and certainly no sales. When my pockets start bursting at the seams with dollars, I'll remember kindness and return the favor.

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Who's Johnny

2009-03-16T11:14:00.000-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Return of the Mack

2009-03-15T12:07:00.001-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Cosmic Girl

2009-03-14T14:17:00.001-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Mama Used to Say

2009-03-13T11:07:00.001-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Walking Into Sunshine

2009-03-12T11:07:00.001-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: You Make Me Feel Mighty Real

2009-03-11T11:07:00.001-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Wham! Rap

2009-03-10T11:07:00.001-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Problems of the World Today

2009-03-09T11:07:00.000-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Sunday Girl

2009-03-08T11:31:00.000-04:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Living All Alone

2009-03-07T23:28:00.000-05:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Lookout Weekend

2009-03-06T10:55:00.001-05:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: I'm Ready (As Seen on Detroit's The Scene)

2009-03-05T14:53:00.000-05:00

Deal or No Deal

2009-03-05T10:30:00.001-05:00

In the midst of the R word (if you have to ask, you're doing okay), retailers has been bending over backwards to accommodate thinner wallets. Saks Fifth Avenue knocked 75% off of their high end items. But come bill time at the end of the month, indulging in these deals can get us into trouble.

A lot of folks will look at a pair of $895 Loubies at Bergdorf's and keep on walking. For some it's a month's rent; for others, a student loan payment. Even for the people who call that sum mere pocket change, it's difficult for them to justify spending that type of loot during this period of economic uncertainty. Put the same pair of pumps on the cluttered shelves of a Loehmann's or Century 21 and drop that price to around $200, and things change significantly.

$200 is an entirely different ballgame. It's still a lot of money to a lot of people (cable bill, a couple of phone bills, the proverbial student loan payment), but it's a number that's easier to digest than $895...which is almost $1,000 once you throw in taxes. The rationalization starts even before we see if the shoe fits. A whole week without happy hour and abstaining from take-out should cover the bill, right? Of course, that's never the case and we simply incur more debt. We go out to happy hour showing off our deal and receive the delivery man at our door in the new Loubies. We barely make the minimum payment on the credit card we charged the shoes on. As we pore over the unopened bills, we think only God (or a big-hearted sugar daddy) can deliver us from this mess. I can't stress how many CLOSET DETOXES I've performed that have involved deals; this includes clients' wardrobes as well as my own.

For the time being, we'd better start listening to Suze and start paying down the principle on our cards. Most of us have the essentials in our closet already—or at least a working wardrobe. And for those of you who don't, you know it's time for a CAPSULE COLLECTION! Hey, I have to plug. I'm trying to pay down my debt, too!

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Go Insane

2009-03-04T14:48:00.000-05:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Cuba

2009-03-03T14:07:00.001-05:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Breakout

2009-03-02T10:07:00.001-05:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Shake It Up Tonight

2009-03-01T11:32:00.000-05:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Promises Promises

2009-02-28T10:28:00.000-05:00

Style Therapy Video of the Day: Southern Freeze

2009-02-27T10:21:00.001-05:00

Trench(es) Warfare

2009-02-25T11:07:00.003-05:00

Last night, at 1:30 in the morning, I began to try on my trench coats and quasi trenchcoats. I had no plans to go out and streak or anything of that nature. I wear clothing underneath my outerwear. I was simply analyzing why these long coats were just okay and not exactly what I wanted in a trench.

I've been chasing this trench dream for about seven years now. It first started when I saw a Yohji Yamamoto coat in either Elle or Harper's Bazaar. It was marvelously structured with molded shoulders and sleeves that bent inwards at the elbow. I wasn't able to afford it because my funds were tied up in my offshore accounts (read: I was broke). I ripped out the magazine page and saved the picture. In fact, I still have it.

Then one day I was perusing the aisles of Beacon's Closet in my old Williamsburg neighborhood. After some digging and breath holding, I stumbled upon a classic Burberry mackintosh for $49. This is back when Beacon's was quite cheap. I thought the coat was overpriced and figured I could get it for less money in a matter of time. That was six years ago and I've been on a quest to find the perfect trench ever since.

Now I own 5 trenches or quasi-trenches that do their job, but weren't quite what I was looking for when I acquired them. With every purchase I thought, "This is the one." But it never was. A collarless DKNY zip up with a cinched paperbag waist is cute. I wear it often, but Lord knows it's not what I had in mind. A perfectly acceptable Theory coat is a real trench in that it has the right collar, properly placed buttons, a storm patch, and a belt. But it has no sleeve loop. What's that about? Then there's the taffeta (yes taffeta) Catherine Malandrino with the pimp collar and gypsy-print lining. Not very practical in the rain. There's also a BCBG jacket in this weird ecru color that fits like a dream...except the button panel on the left is awkwardly sewn, so it puckers a bit. The real show stopper is a Viktor & Rolf (no, not from their H & M line-we've been over this before) black number that screams Matrix. It's a beautiful coat with every trenchy element...and then some. If I wear the collar up (as I'm prone to do), I end up looking like Count Chocula. And De Heer Horsting and De Heer Snoeren could have made the belt a tad longer.

I know all of you current and future clients are asking, "Style Therapist, why haven't you purged those jackets during your quarterly CLOSET DETOXES?" The short answer is that they're all good jackets and like my old boss would advise, I'm making them work. They look good on and serve a purpose. One is worn on mild, rainy days, another on sunny, warmer days, one's for dressier affairs; etc.

The truth is, if I tally the price for each of these facsimiles, I would have been able to purchase the real deal Burberry several times over...or maybe even a beautiful Yohji Yamamoto. I ask that you learn from my lesson of settling. If there's something you really want and your funds are tied up overseas, create a saving plan and purchase it; otherwise you'll be spending lots of money and time (and closet space) on items that don't measure up.

NYC Fashion Week: Day 8

2009-02-20T23:15:00.000-05:00

The last day! The day of the Ralphs.

RALPH LAUREN (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Elizabethan ruffs and croc booties. Tweed and wool paired with silk and tulle. Ralph Lauren is all about creating a dream to aspire to. That doesn't mean it's okay to show up to a cocktail party wearing your grandaddy's raggedy sweater.

Hated It: Ralph will know this for next year: Edit! 55 looks?!?!??! Come on Lifshitz!

CHADO RALPH RUCCI (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Just because this couture designer and FIT alum creates a runway line doesn't mean that the same amount of passion and vision isn't applied. You'd better be truly comfortable wearing the best fashion has to offer in order to pull off dramatic looks. You can't jump right out of your stained college sweatshirt into a marvelous Ralph Rucci suit and expect to be convincing.

Hated It: 59 looks?! It must be a Ralph thing.

NYC Fashion Week: Day 7

2009-02-19T23:14:00.000-05:00

Two more days folks. Zorro in Z Formation is a good thing; Hated It, not so much.

CALVIN KLEIN COLLECTION (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Go ahead Francisco! My favorite collection of the entire season...well, in New York anyway. Let's see what happens in Paris, Milan, and London. Aside from the progressive fabrics used, he really took his silhouettes to the next level. Those flaps and seams and marvelously peculiar collars. Parabens!

Hated It: Nothing! I hated nothing. So many designers used familiar silhouettes that were perfectly lovely, but sleep inducing. Costa maintained the austere mood of the house without allowing the severity to become too costumey.

ZAC POSEN (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: You know, even the Style Therapist loves a minimalist approach for my personal wardrobe (yes, I used first and third person in the same sentence), that doesn't mean I can't appreciate opulence! This is what I'd imagine the cast members of Dynasty to be wearing had the show been on today.

Hated It: During the current state of the economy, many people would poo poo such displays of wealth in their clothing. But I ask, who wants to see rags? Runway show and fashion are often about fantasy and aspiration. Who wants to aspire to wear rags?

PORTS 1961 (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: This presentation gets much better towards the end. That drapey, sequined top in look 26 and one shoulder fuchsia number in look 30 really are fire...

Hated It: And then look 34 has to come and mess up the party. O Canada. I've never found the silhouettes of this line from the great white north very flattering. Everything doesn't have to be structured and shaped just so, but if you're going to do shapeless, it shouldn't add 15 pounds and 20 years.

ISAAC MIZRAHI(view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: What magical colors! What Francisco did for fabrics and silhouette for me, Mr. Mizrahi does with color. Wake the town and tell the people! Even if this isn't your aesthetic, you must admit, this show was ALIVE!

Hated It: Remember people, runway shows are about theater. Please do not concoct a way to wear your purse as a hat.

BRIAN REYES (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Another designer who is very capable of the modern, young lady. Being ladylike doesn't mean walking the streets in old furs that smell like moths. Subtle, pretty prints.

Hated It: It was unfair to look at this show after Mizrahi's. Color-wise, it was anticlimactic. But this is another delivery that I have no real issues with.

NYC Fashion Week: Day 6

2009-02-18T23:14:00.000-05:00

PROENZA SCHOULER (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Lazaro and Jack marry two of my favorite things: rich, succulent fabrics and great, functional American sportswear.

Hated It: I'm mad about the structure of the coat in look 1, but it's not very practical on a day with big gusts of wind. Also, looks 18-20 were not engineered for the bustier lot of us.

J. MENDEL (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: I think even a few PETA members can admit to themselves, albeit in secret, that a lot of pieces in this presentation are truly lovely.

Hated It: While plenty of young things can wear J. Mendel well, this is one of those lines that a more sophisticated and mature woman can pull off even better.

DOO.RI (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: I always expect the best in draping and pleating techniques from this 2006 Council of Fashion Designers of America/Vogue Fashion Fund Award winner.

Hated It: But on a couple of occasions (looks 4 and 9), it was a bit much for one, singular outfit.

ANNA SUI (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Even if one doesn't consider herself an Anna Sui girl—who happens to be a very specific type of girl—one can still appreciate the juxtaposition of trippy prints. She may have picked up where Ossie Clark (the man, not the current line) and Zandra Rhodes left off in the early Seventies.

Hated It: 50 looks Anna? Come on now. We don't have that kind of time. A collection of this size runs the risk of repetition.

ALEXANDRE HERCHOVITCH (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: In a similar printy vein as Ms. Sui, Herchovitch is fearless in terms of mixing apparently oppositional patterns with each other.

Hated It: I'm going to pass on the long shorts with the baggy leggings of look 6. There's no way this would work in Herchovitch's native São Paulo.

CARMEN MARC VALVO (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: My kind of show: only the necessary pieces.

Hated It: I wish Mr. Valvo had decided on all mannequins or all living, breathing models. The two live modesl seem like a last minute decision.

OSCAR DE LA RENTA (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: A huge bravo to Oscar for using models in a rainbow of shades! And who doesn't like a lady in rich, beautiful fabrics?

Hated It: Come on Oscar. You too?! 51 looks? Are you and Anna in cahoots?

NYC Fashion Week: Day 5

2009-02-17T21:07:00.001-05:00

It's almost over folks. Soon we'll be packing our bags for Europe. Well, not me specifically. I've got classes and a bevy of clients to tend to. But by Day 5 you know the drill. Zorro in Z Formation is a good thing; Hated It, not so much.

TEMPERLEY LONDON (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: I grew accustomed to flow and floral from Alice Temperley. But remember, the Style Therapist is adaptable to change. This fall collection was more restrained and pulled in. I'd never poo poo structure.

Hated It: I think there should be a cap on how many looks can be shown. This isn't just directed towards Ms. T. Any designer exhibiting over 20 looks is overdoing it. Just have the models walk slower. Which editor or buyer out there is crying out for more looks that don't add anything to the line? I'd prefer a concise, well curated show with just the right pieces than a collection with several "what those doing there?" looks.

BADGLEY MISCHKA (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: I used to see these guys walking along 14th Street (the kind of unsavory bit between Sixth and Seventh Aves.) often back in the day; but that's neither here no there, as they say. We're in 2009 now. Keeping it ladylike is a good thing. That beautiful gown (look 21) in Yves Klein blue would be perfect for when I accept the Style Therapist of the Year Award...although that sleeve could be thinner.

Hated It: Take it easy with the gold lamé, guys. All things in moderation. Remember, if that accent decides to abandon the "e", it become lame gold.

RODARTE (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: There's something to be said about the sisters Mulleavy growing up in Pasadena. I've never visited the city, but I'm sure it's a lovely place. However, it's not on most people's "visit here before death" list. When a creative person comes from an environment that's not on par with New York or Paris or London in an aesthetic sense, they're forced to rely on something innate. It's tangent time! The sisters collections have been some of the most forward-thinking of any designer(s) in the past decade. Like Miuccia Prada or Marc Jacobs, sometimes their vision can be overwhelming upon first glance. But when revisited later, it's easier to digest.

Hated It: Be cautious of the dreadlocked sweater (looks 12 and 13). It's liable to get caught in something you don't want it to. And there goes your sweater.

DEREK LAM (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: What a marvelous variety of pants: trousers, skinnies, leather; etc. And those shoes really are the business. Even the muted colors are succulent. Keep doing what you do Derek.

Hated It: Again, here's one of those shows where it's difficult to find fault. Ok, ok. The waist in look 29 is suspect. I'm sure that model doesn't go beyond 25" or 26" in that area. But it came across as Al Bundyesque from where I'm sitting.

BEHNAZ SARAFPOUR (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: While I would have liked to see more separates showcased, Ms. Sarafpour does structured, ladylike dresses well.

Hated It: Some variety in the dresses would have been nice. After look number 10 it the collection began to verge on redundancy.

DENNIS BASSO (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: DB is about rich, luxe skins in modern, wearable shapes.

Hated It: Some pieces can look like roadkill. And wearing two animals at once (looks 11 and 12) can be a bit much. Not for PETA sympathizers.

NYC Fashion Week: Day 4

2009-02-16T22:07:00.000-05:00

If you're joining the Style Therapist for the first time, I'm taking it back to the 1990 with Blaine Edwards and Antoine Merriweather for Fashion Week. A Zorro Snap in a Z Formation is my opinion in the affirmative and Hated It is a thumbs down.

CAROLINA HERRERA (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Herrera knows her customer well. She's a refined lady, just like the designer. I think the belly-baring, whale-tail showing tarts walking the streets these days could take a page from CH's book. Love the rich textiles throughout the show.

Hated It: It seems as though several designers this week were inspired by the Snuggie. If you don't have the frame to handle look 17, leave it alone. It will gulp you up.

ZERO + MARIA CORNEJO (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: It's no secret that Zero + Maria Cornejo is loved unconditionally here at Style Therapy. Controlled volume, marvelous architectural silhouettes, and structured pieces that are not weighed down or too rigid.

Hated It: Que pasa con el random dude in look 25?

CARLOS MIELE (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: I've made it abundantly clear that I go bananas over traditional, ladylike pieces juxtaposed with chic and modern menswear inspired elements. Miele has captured this aesthetic with great balance.

Hated It: The guitar solo in the middle of the runway was probably more effective in person. In pictures, eh. He's distracting and ill-placed.

JILL STUART (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Stuart captures the essence of the young, fun, and girly without being nauseatingly saccharine or costumey. A number of the looks (16, 28, 33) could easily transfer over to a more mature and sophisticated closet.

Hated It: I still think it's possible to do young and femining without the little girl element (look 25).

TRACY REESE (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Reese is another designer who's able to capture the essence of the young, ultra-feminine woman without getting too frothy about it.

Hated It: I'm going to pass on looks 5 and 8. It seems a little misplaced and reminds me of one of my party outfits back in 2001 during my experimental Sex and the City phase.

DONNA KARAN (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Donna Karan rarely disappoints. She's operating on a "design for yourself" frequency. She's a busy, successful, working woman who has conceived her lines in this vein since her days at Anne Klein.

Hated It: I'm going to pass on the fur sleeves throughout the show. It's all or nothing...although...for Style Therapy purposes of wardrobe efficiency, if the fur sleeves double as leg warmers they may get an endorsement.

DKNY (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: The Style Therapist is not the most ardent supporter of the color red. As a pop color. Yeah, sure. Fine. But it plays out beautifully in this collection as the common denominator. The diffusion, "little sister" line to Donna Karan's signature collection appears to have matured and become a contemporary of her sister.

Hated It: Be careful of exaggeratedly oversized cardigans like the one in look 32. It's not hiding anything, it only creates the illusion of more body mass. Those thick horizontal stripes don't help either.

NYC Fashion Week: Day 3

2009-02-15T20:07:00.001-05:00

Just a reminder if you're joining the Style Therapist for the first time. I'm bringing back Blaine Edwards and Antoine Merriweather for Fashion Week. A Zorro Snap in a Z Formation is my opinion in the affirmative and Hated It is a thumbs down.

LELA ROSE (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Sharp, ladylike polish in modern forms and prints. Love the little short-sleeved jackets.

Hated It: Like a lot of designers presenting this week, a lot of the shapes seem to be staid at this point. Don't take it personally Lela, this is directed towards the lot of you at the tents and elsewhere. What did Alexey Brodovitch used to say? "Astonish me!" Maybe that's the function of the members of the Chambre Syndicale de la Haute Couture. Perhaps ready-to-wear is about practical clothing for the everyday working (in and out of the house) woman. Sorry I went off on a tangent Lela. Keep doing your thing.

HERVE LEGER BY MAX AZRIA (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Azria cultivates the iconic bandaged and bondaged aesthetic of Leger items from the past. And you know we love strong shoulders at Style Therapy!

Hated It: If you dare to wear these dresses, don't forget to wear your Spanx. That goes for you skinny girls, too!

DIANE VON FURSTENBERG (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: A little darker and heavier than I'm used to from DVF. But that's ok. The Style Therapist is adaptable to change. After all, I'm able to weave in and out of the first and third-person. There's no fear here when it comes to utilization of prints at all kinds of levels.

Hated It: This is one of those shows that could have been pared down a bit. Once the collection gets into pieces 30-34, things begin to look similar.

PREEN (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Look 11 is my favorite piece from the Fashion Week thus far. I reckon it's tacky to anticipate a discount (or gift) from Thea and Justin for this biggup.

Hated It: Not sure how Spanx are going to work with look 8.

REEM ACRA (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Just how I like my shows, not and short without any extraneous bits of drib and drab.

Hated It: Here, the issue of age appropriateness rears its head. This aesthetic is a bit too mature for youngins.

BOY BY BAND OF OUTSIDERS (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: It's no secret that the Style Therapist loves jackets to pull a wardrobe of separates together seamlessly.

Hated It: However, there's nothing in the Style Therapy Rulebook that makes reference to stiletto sneakers.

NYC Fashion Week: Day 2

2009-02-14T22:07:00.003-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day!! Remember, there's nothing the Style Therapist loves to research more than the power of clothing. Here, Day 2 of NYC Fashion Week is explored in the most pared down manner possible. Don't forget, I'm channeling Blaine Edwards and Antoine Merriweather. A Zorro Snap in a Z Formation is my opinion in the affirmative and Hated It is a thumbs down.

ADAM (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: To think this all started from extra soft t-shirts that Oprah loved. Plus I love the fact that Adam Lippes can realize Sonny Crocket in the form of a woman (looks 32 and 33)

Hated It: If you're able to pull off the jacket in look 5, more power to you. But I lived in a house with carpeting reminiscent of this piece.

LACOSTE (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Christophe Lemaire has brought this croc logo'd mainstay into a full-on lifestyle brand.

Hated It: There were a couple of Snuggie references (looks 13 and 14) that didn't sit well with me.

OHNE TITEL (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: With a wardrobe like this, one never has to ponder what to wear with what. High rate of wardrobe efficiency!

Hated It: However, a closet full of black can lead to gloom and doom moods that channel Daria.

UNITED BAMBOO (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Concise, consistent collection of separates, jumpers and dresses.

Hated It: No more little girl jumpers for grown women!

BARBARA TFANK (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Polished and ladylike without the froth.

Hated It: You'd better be really long in the waist to pull off look 1. Also, consider age appropriateness. These looks work better on a really grown woman. Youngins and boppers wait a little bit longer before taking on these pieces.

BIBHU MOHAPATRA (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Lovely, structured pieces that have an architectural quality without the stiffness. Tight collection with no extraneous filler.

Hated It: If you're going to wear the jacket that's lucky number 7 on the train, you may end up unlucky and stuck in the doors. Watch the closing doors please!

RUFFIAN (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Separates are such a core principle of the Style Therapy philosophy. Here the Ruffian team mix textures with both traditional and more left-of-center silhouettes

Hated It: If early 90210 and Clueless had a love child, she would end up being look 20. For some that's not a bad thing.

COSTELLO TAGLIAPIETRA (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Biggup to this teddy bear duo for having their mannequins walking with arms akimbo. Why don't more mannequins do that these days? Oh yes, and I love their marvelous ability to drape like nobody's business.

Hated It: It's difficult to find fault here. But since nobody's perfect, I'll zone in on look 15. You know when you get out of the shower and you leave the towel around your neck for a bit?

JAMES COVIELLO (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Marvelous play on colors, textures, prints, and periods. Plus, I love the idea of plopping all the models on a platform for a quick and easy presentation. No need for this one by one business on the runway.

Hated It: Watch out for the hem length in look 5. That's a universally unflattering length that should be attempted by no one.

THREEASFOUR (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Does anyone still have a circle bag from back in the AsFour days? No? In any case, The Style Therapist is biased towards clothing cut on the bias. It drapes better and hangs off of the body beautifully.

Hated It: Stop cutting a whole into your tights! That headgear is for styling purposes only. Do not take these presentation looks so literally.

VPL (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: I love the scarves with holes for one's arms. It's the chic, cooler sister to the practical, yet embarrassingly mousy Snuggie.

Hated It: I'm aware that VPL stands for visible panty lines, but please do not leave the house in your drawers (look 11).

VENA CAVA (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Strong grip on separates (a Style Therapy favorite) and the late 80s (more Just the Ten of Us than Small Wonder).

Hated It: Again, this is one of those lines that has such a strong vision, that any old Jane can't expect to throw on a Vena Cava piece and pull it off.

VERRIER (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: These are the perfect pieces for those of you who are more boyish in figure. If you're lacking curves a good visual trick is to throw in some ruffles and frills to give the illusion of more curves.

Hated It: Ashleigh Verrier and a handful of designers have injected their collections with transparent pieces. That's not a hated it in and of itself. Just please remember to wear the proper underpinnings when sporting these looks.

KAREN WALKER (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: The trench (look 1) and copper penny dress (look 12) are fire! I'm placing my order.

Hated It: The lampshade chapeaus are for styling purposes only people. Please do not go out and buy one. Remember the line of demarcation between runway and the real way.

NYC Fashion Week: Day 1

2009-02-13T20:07:00.003-05:00

Fashion week can be a lot to handle. So in the spirit of Blaine Edwards and Antoine Merriweather, I've devised a concise system for managing the Fall 2009 shows this week.
A Zorro Snap in a Z Formation is my opinion in the affirmative, and Hated It is self-explanatory.

ACNE (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Beautiful, structured cocktail frocks and slenderizing blazers.

Hated It: See-thru pants are for pervy exhibitionists who don't mind a bit of sweat.

BCBG MAX AZRIA (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Great fabric manipulation in pleating details, folds; etc. Fluid dresses; built-up shoulders; smart use of color and print (bold without being loud).

Hated It: Beware of velvet.

YIGAL AZROUEL (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation:

Hated It: Although quite beautiful, for continuity purposes, this would have probably worked better as two separate shows. Some looks were very architectural, while others were more fluid and billowy. Some pieces were even elliptical. It's not that all of these can't co-exist within the same collection, but there must be some common denominator.

CHARLOTTE RONSON (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: The Style Therapist loves a built-up shoulder (look 30). Come back Dynasty!

Hated It: About 10 looks too many. Could have been curated better. Certain looks don't add to the story and feel more like filler (looks 5 and 10).

RACHEL COMEY (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Interesting shapes infused with pop colors and lively florals.

Hated It: Eclectic mix with a strong point-of-view that's not for everybody nor every body.

VERA WANG LAVENDER LABEL (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Various body types could pull off these looks. The Style Therapist is an advocate for egalitarian clothing.

Hated It: Do NOT take look #9 literally. Please wear a slip!

ABAETE (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Modernized classics in lovely fabrics.

Hated It: Color story was only slightly more exciting than a container of wheat germ.

TSE (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Like a favorite cashmere throw luxed up in beautiful, sharp pieces. And did I mention the lovely, sturdy shoulders?

Hated It: Cashmere helmets weren't meant to protect the head from trauma.

PETER SOM (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Som understands the importance of the waist in creating a silhouette; daring prints and bold use of color.

Hated It: The frequent bell silhouette is not for the hip-averse.

LYN DEVON (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: It bears repeating that structure is a Style Therapy favorite. If you've got cottage cheese body parts, structure is your best friend. Plus, that purple is fire!

Hated It: Outside of Palm Beach, floral pants have limited appeal.

RACHEL ROY (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: I love RR for being one of the first young designers to embrace the polished, young lady PRE-Mad Men.

Hated It: The hair and makeup is a little close to my main man's Stefano Pilati's look for Yves Saint Laurent a year ago. Also, this is not the RR I'm used to for the reasons above. It's fine to evolve, but don't lose veer too far of course.

JENNI KAYNE (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Clean, simple, and refined.

Hated It: Some of these looks seem recycled from recent seasons past (note look 5 and 18).

MONIQUE LHUILLIER (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Both ethereal and grounded at the same time. I usually say toss your ripped hose out the door, but in this case, it's a part of the theme. Clever.

Hated It: Don't wear any of these to a wedding unless you're deliberately attempting to upstage the bride.

CHRISTIAN COTA (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: The most interesting use of shape and texture so far. Not one look to incite a yawn in this grouping.

Hated It: Here's a show I had difficulty finding fault in. But the model in look 14 seems like she's had enough of the photographer telling her to make love to the camera.

CUSHNIE ET OCHS (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Structure and fluidity done the right way. There's no disconnect between the looks. Well curated.

Hated It: Look 2 is not for everyone. In fact, it's not for most.

NICOLE MILLER (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: One can never have too many dresses. It's great, lazy, minimal-step dressing.

Hated It: I hope those square toed boots were borrowed.

RAG & BONE (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: This is another design firm that has a strong point-of-view and has maintained their original menswear-inspired aesthetic. Each season they create the most modernly classic blazers.

Hated It: I'm going to pass on the superfluous ties in the pants. It creates a stumpy effect.

SHIPLEY & HALMOS (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Remnants of this duo's prepped out Trovata roots can be seen; but I appreciate its subtlety. This shows they've evolved while maintaining the integrity of their original aesthetic.

Hated It: We don't really need a turtleneck under EVERYTHING, do we?

STAERK (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: The Style Therapist is bananas for menswear inspired done right without being too literal. Is that Fatima Siad from Cycle 10 of ANTM in look 6?

Hated It: I had a jumpsuit very similar to look 10. But I was 9 and that was back in the late 80s. This outfit is best left in reruns of Full House and Small Wonder.

JASON WU (view the show)
Zorro Snap in Z Formation: Anyone who dresses the divine Ms. O is ok with me. Marvelous updated classics with chic details.

Hated It: Careful now Jason. Look number 25 seems awfully familiar. Right Oscar?

Beware of Microtrends: Two Waists

2009-02-12T10:04:00.001-05:00

Some members of the animal kingdom may have multiple sets of things: breasts, limbs, eyes. As humans, however, we tend to have one or two of each—at the most. And when it comes to waists, it would behoove us to have a single, solitary version of that. Unfortunately, I've been noticing something lately. It's not a pandemic, nor is it even an epidemic. It's barely a trend, but I've witnessed enough instances to be worried. My purpose is not to alarm anyone, but I think it's in our best interests to be cognizant of bad trends so we're able to shut them down collectively.

Since the summer I've been noticing women belting their Empire dresses. It's the most peculiar sartorial defect since the muffin top. An Empire dress, by default, has a waist that's directly underneath the bosom. This style dutifully conceals bloating, weight gain, and lunch at Pizzeria Uno. The built-in waist gives the woman wearing the dress (or blouse in some cases) the opportunity to forget about a belt and let it all hang out. Why anyone would add another waist to this style is perplexing. It's akin to sewing an extra leg into your trousers, another collar on your shirt, or an extra seat in your jeans. It's redundant and unflattering.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the women committing this egregious act suffer from the Sex and the City Effect. They're taking fashion risks that end up falling with a big, dull thud. Not only is this dreadful trend a waste of resources because it prohibits the Empire waist from doing its job; but the wearer is creating a slovenly, sloppy gut for herself when the belt is worn low. Come on people. We need to do better!

Chapped and Screwed

2009-02-11T10:07:00.000-05:00

We've all experienced chapped lips before. Especially with this harsh weather, our poor lips can't get a break. That doesn't mean it's ok to run around in the streets with sheets of dead skin flapping in the breeze. We've got Burt's Bees, Kiehl's, coco butter, and good old-fashioned Vaseline to help out. Lip licking may be considered sexy to some of you, but it only exacerbates the problem.

The other day I was minding my own business in class when I noticed this young lady had the most egregious chapped lips I'd seen in creation. She knew it, too; because as she talked, she was picking away. At times she would stop peeling and just allow the skin to flap in the breeze like those international flags at the used car lot. Normally I wouldn't co-sign on public grooming—particularly when it comes to lips. It's on par with nose picking and bare belly scratching in public. But this girl had a foot-long sheet of dead skin on her bottom lip. I wanted it gone! Because I believe in God, the Secret, and the power of positive thinking, I prayed and Secreted her dead skin away. And it worked! When I looked away and turned back to her, her shiny new bottom lip was revealed. Kind of like when that nasty cocoon shell falls off and out pops the butterfly or when you take a rusty, old car to Maaco and have it painted in a marvelous new color.

As I reveled in the power of my mind, my body shook with great horror. Where had she disposed of that foot-long piece of dead skin? There was no garbage can near her desk and she had not gotten up to throw it out in a bin. She wasn't sitting by a window either. Did she put it in her pocket? Her notebook? Her boots?

Listen people. The world can be gross enough as it is with all of the nose pickers and bare belly scratchers walking the street. Is it too much to ask to excuse yourself and go to the WC to handle your business? Come on now.

If You Love Yourself...

2009-02-10T15:15:00.000-05:00

you'll unload that extra baggage from 2008 I've been begging you to get rid of. You owe it to yourself to bring your A-game whenever you can. Love your closet. Love yourself. And because the Style Therapist is full of so much love, I'm offering a Valentine's Day Special. If you book a CLOSET DETOX by February 22, you'll receive 2 full hours of Style Therapy for $65. That's a 13% discount!! And for those of you who aren't ready to give up those old smelly, DNA covered college sweatshirts and those MC Hammer pants—I'm not giving up on you yet!

Birthday Wish/Birthday Present

2009-02-02T09:07:00.000-05:00

Birthdays only come once a year, so it's imperative that the wishes made are important ones. It is my wish that you all bring your A-game: when you go to the bodega for a quart of milk, when you have a presentation before the board of trustees, and when you bump into your crush at Danceteria. Despite the recession, there are options.

If you were born between January 20 and February 18, you get Aquarius 30% discount off of a CLOSET DETOX—a phenomenal deal that Oprah, Jennifer Anniston, and Christie Brinkley can utilize. If you fall under the other eleven astrological signs, no need to fret. There's the popular CAPSULE COLLECTION service that many people have found incredibly helpful. With a wardrobe foundation, the possibilities are endless. We've all brought our C-game long enough. The C-game is average. It's the year of the ox. It's time to be above average!

Blame Sex and the City

2009-01-08T09:20:00.005-05:00

As was the case with a lot of women who experienced their early twenties during the early Noughties, Sex and the City (SATC) was one of my favorite programs. Out of the four characters, we could all relate to at least one of them on some level. And those clothes, those wonderful clothes. Costume designer Pat Field realized how important dress was to the development of these characters. Remember how Miranda dressed during the first season as opposed to the later seasons? She and Charlotte, for a time, dressed in a near-stereotypical manner. The former clad in sterile all-black, and the latter in wasp waist enhancing dresses with a bow or ruffle planted somewhere.

Many of us were heavily influenced by the SATC philosophy of having fun with personal style. I was no stranger to the oversized flower corsage on my coat lapel during early 2001. And Carrie Bradshaw helped to usher in the vintage craze. Very few people indulged in used clothing before she made it acceptable. If they did, they were either high-end collectors of Courrèges and Rabanne or grungy types who had a steady rotation of flannel.

However, some have taken their personal style too far. Whatever your aesthetic is, it's imperative to edit. Thankfully, we're in the middle of winter and people are desperately trying to make it to the inside of their destination. There's basically a sea puffy black coats, black gloves, and black tams. It's during the summer where things really get egregious. There's a profusion of over-styled young women roaming the streets in shorts and stilettos. Their idea of juxtaposing different prints, styles, textures and labeling ends up looking like a hot-messed mish mash of madness. These girls fail to realize that the styles they're emulating are from television—a hyper-reality. The styles were meant to entertain and inspire, not be taken literally.

This February marks five years since our quartet of friends bid us adieu. The film that premiered this past summer brought with it a few more validated trends: belted waist, graphic print dresses, and statement jewelry. These have been lasting sartorial movements amongst those in the know, but SATC validates the styles to a global audience. While there have been some major guffaws on the street level, the show did teach a lot of us to take risks and push our fashion limits. The Style Therapy message is to figure out your own style organically. What works for YOUR figure, coloring, lifestyle; etc. Just because it looks cute on Carrie doesn't mean it works for the rest of us.

Do This In Private #1: Nose Picking

2009-01-07T10:31:00.001-05:00

There are a host of things that need to be done in private: clipping nails, copulation, makeup application, and nose picking. Public figures and people in automobiles tend to be most inclined towards this egregious activity. I'm not referring to people with tinted windows either. Apparently the clear window is supposed to act as an invisible barrier. The driver is under the impression that no one is able to see him digging for gold.

As is the case with those folks who like to clip their nails on the bus or subway, public nose picking puts one on the same level as your garden variety serial killer. Truly, a public nose picker is no better. They're both menaces society and care only about themselves. These same public nose pickers will tell you, "I was just scratching my nose."

Just scratching your nose? Not drilling for oil? Not scratching an itchy brain? A true shame in the de-evolution of decorum. What's worse is that these people will be all too eager to shake your hand, sample the food on your plate; etc. Not only is it in poor taste. It can kill you. A poor old chap in the UK accidentally died from chronic nose picking.

The proper thing to do—if you sincerely can't wait to excuse yourself to the WC—is to take out a lovely (preferably monogrammed) handkerchief and pretend to blow your nose. Do a quick poke and swirl and get rid of the offending booger. Whatever you do, please be discreet about it.

It's Called Nailpolish Remover

2009-01-06T08:07:00.002-05:00

Ladies, ladies, ladies. There's nothing worse than some chipped fingernail polish. It can cheapen you faster than fishnet stockings and clear platforms. The other day, on the L train no less, I saw a young woman chipping away at her nails. Not only were the flecks of paint flying in different directions—which could have easily landed in someone's eye and injured them—but she was ruining her nails underneath.

When the Chinese invented nail varnish around 3000 B.C., they had no idea that they were creating a potential weapon. But what's even more dangerous is that a bit of your own nail comes off when you deliberately hack away at your digits.

Short, shaped, and groomed nails are the loveliest accessories a woman can have. One of the least expensive, too. If you're decked out in a beautifully structured Lanvin dress and Pierre Hardy shoes, makeup to the nines, hair perfectly coiffed, and ragged nails, what's the point of getting out of bed at all?

Details ladies, details. If your nails are slightly chipped, the remedy is relatively small and takes little time. Dab a bit of polish remover on the index finger of the hand WITHOUT the chipped nails and gently smooth the offending area until the edges are smooth. Apply the necessary amount of coats to the nail and seal it with a clear polish protector. If you have several chips on different fingers and/or your manicure is over a week old, it's time to start from scratch.

The old adage of being able to tell a lot about a person by the shoes they wear applies to nails as well. Chipped nails may convey laziness or lack of attention to detail. While it may not signal the end of the world, you certainly won't be bringing your A-game. Early last year, the New York Times did an article on the chipped nail as a trend. You don't follow that trend. It's not for you.

New Service for 2009: $10 CAPSULE COLLECTION

2009-01-05T09:07:00.003-05:00

For most of you, this is your first day back at work. You've eaten a lot of treats, downed some sauce, and danced the jig, jit, and dutty wine. What most of you haven't done is worked on bringing your A-game. You still have the same closet with the same ratio: you wear 20% of your clothing 80% of the time.

On January 20, Barack Obama will be sworn in as our forty-fourth president. His platform is change. You need to make that yours as well. The start of a new year brings with it a time of purging the old. That includes those MC Hammer pants you STILL haven't gotten rid of. Every time you reach for them to throw them out, they mutter, "Can't touch this."

I have a new service for those of you who need quick and inexpensive advice. Some of you are saying "$10?! I can't spend $10 on some advice!" Your other therapist gets $100 an hour to listen to you talk about yourself. I'm helping you for a lot less than that. Those daily lunches with your coworkers cost in excess of $10. What are you left with? Some good gossip, yes, but for the most part, indigestion, gas and an angry boss because you took more than an hour.

With a CAPSULE COLLECTION, I'll give you all the fundamental pieces you need in a wardrobe in order to bring your A-game. All of the suggestions I e-mail to you will be live on various e-commerce sites at the time you receive the collection. If you wait too long, sale items may have already sold out. Also, keep in mind people, these are just suggestions. If you don't have the capital now, simply use my advice as a guideline for when you do. New mommies, you really need to consider this. You may not have the time for a CLOSET DETOX, but at least this way, you still have access to STYLE THERAPY.

Here's what the CAPSULE COLLECTION service consists of:

1. Log on to your Paypal account, click on the "Send money" tab and type "advice@swstyletherapy.com" in the "To" box, and "10.00" in the "Amount" box.

2. E-mail me at simone@swstyletherapy.com with a color headshot and full-body of yourself. I need to see your figure/physique, as well as your coloring to determine the best silhouettes, patterns, fabrics and colors for you. Also include some information about yourself to give me an idea about your lifestyle. It can range from what you do for a living to your favorite designers and places to shop.

3. Due to the high volume of queries, responses may take up to 12 hours, but I'll get them to you as quickly as possible. Client satisfaction guaranteed!

Phyllis Hyman: Accentuate The Body You Have

2009-01-04T12:57:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year beautiful people! It's 2009 and it's time to stop looking like a sweltering, hot mess. I can't begin to stress how many people have said they won't do a CLOSET DETOX because they have to lose a few more pounds. But an even more egregious type of behavior is trying to conceal what's obvious. We can diminish a paunch with a billowy blouse or play-up an A-cup with chicken cutlets, but there are some things that can't be changed, so let's embrace them.

Phyllis Hyman, the late, underrated singer who left us too soon, understood this. At 6'2" in heels, she was no shrinking violet. In addition to her heels, she wore towering crowns, huge chandelier earrings, and was a friend to the plunging neckline. As a plus-size woman, she also understood the concept of scale. Her clothing and accessories were on a grand scale because she, herself, was larger than life. Dainty diamond studs and a tiny string of pearls would have been lost on this Amazonian diva. And a woman with a petite frame would be overwhelmed by the pieces Ms. Hyman was able to pull off.

Embrace your body now. Dress the body you have NOW! NOW! NOW! And dress it well. No excuses! New mommies, I know your bodies are changing. Weight fluctuation, different cup sizes, elastic-waist pants—you have it rough, because you got a new body practically overnight. But I continue to stress, don't put yourself or your style on the back burner. You buy your baby new clothes and give them several costume changes during the course of the day. You're still in your crummy sweatshirt from last week. Is that fair to you? Play up your new assets and if you want to get back to your original body, inject your wardrobe with some good transitional pieces.

If you think you're too short, too tall, too fat, or too skinny—get over it! Learn to play it up and as always, bring your A-game! Remember my story of the little girl with the fake toes? If she was bringing her A-game at age 8, there's no reason why you have all twenty of your digits and you're not bringing it at 30.

Smell Ya Later

2009-01-03T12:07:00.002-05:00

Hey Mister, looking good. You know it, too...but I can smell you. You're waaaaaaaaaay over there and I'm waaaaaaaay over here.

Listen gents, as a Style Therapist I can really appreciate you taking the time to bring your A-game. But does this attention to detail HAVE to involve so much cologne? My nostrils are on fire and my eyes are watering. It's not even that your Eau de Homme smells bad, there's simply too much of it on your body. Take it easy for the public's sake...please!

We can still smell you 10 minutes after you've left the building. I know what you do, too. You lay your outfit on the bed and spritz the cologne all over—front AND back. In your mind, this is the subtle way to get your scent out into the atmosphere. But you don't stop there. You put it in your hair, on your neck, the palms of your hand—you refuse to leave any molecule unbathed in your special spice.

Please give the public's olfactory nerves a break. Your cologne seeps into our skin, attaches itself to our hair, our couches, car seats and any other surface that absorbs odors. My advice is to spritz in the air and run through the mist. That way only someone close enough to whisper can smell you. You're more appealing and mysterious that way. While you may be suffering from colognism, it's manageable disease. And in some cases, I've known it to be cured.

In Your Face

2009-01-02T09:14:00.001-05:00

The other day I was frantically looking for a belt to wear with my favorite dress—a Zero Maria Cornejo number I bought a couple of years ago for a wedding. Nothing was working quite well. The fuchsia rope belt made it look too vintagey, which can come across as too costumey. The black leather belt was a bit too sober. I was attending a business lunch, but I didn't want to appear overly corporate either.

After an extended period of trial and error I realized tha the perfect belt had been staring me in the face the entire time. It was the original belt that came with the dress. Normally I'm not a big fan of this. Somtimes I think the designer assumes the consumer is a complete dodo brain and needs a great deal of hand holding. Afterall, shoes and earrings aren't thrown in when a garment is purchased. It's up to the consumer to figure what works best for him or her.

But in this instance, the belt was saying, "You don't have to wear me all the time. But I'm hear if you ever need me."

Thanks belt.

Style Therapy New Year's Resolutions

2008-12-31T10:57:00.001-05:00

As 2008 comes to an end, it's time to set some realistic goals regarding your wardrobe. Here are some tips to help you along the way:

1. I will not buy an item simply because it's on sale.

2. I will not get caught up in the number on a label. A size 2 by one designer can be a size 12 by another. I will not be a pawn to anyone's vanity sizing.

3. I will not buy an item I have doubts about in the hopes that it will grow on me. Fungus grows.

4. I will not keep clothing in my closet that I haven't worn in over a year.

5. I will detox my closet before buying another item. I'll either do it through Style Therapy or on my own.

6. I will try on EVERY SINGLE THING I purchase before leaving the store.

7. I will not allow pushy salespeople to force me to buy something so they can get their commission.

8. I will not hold onto an item I don't wear just because it's by a high-end designer.

9. I will not hold onto items I don't wear just because I got them at a steep discount.

10. I will not twirl or constantly stroke my hair.

11. I will not buy or wear any counterfeit items.

12. I will not buy any clothing that's too tight in the hopes that I'll fit into it after I lose a few pounds.

13. I will only buy colors and silhouettes that flatter me.

14. I won't get the Rihanna haircut, because it does not flatter me...even though I wish it did.

15. I will not allow my cousin Peaches to dress me. He doesn't know what he's talking about; and he's rather tacky.

16. I will make 2009 my most stylish year ever by following these simple resolutions!

An Open Letter to Parents: Please Stop Buying Your Adult Children Clothes

2008-12-30T17:14:00.000-05:00

Dear Parents,

Please stop buying your adult children clothing. Not just during the holidays, but in general. You seem to think you and your children share not only the same personal taste, but also the same size. Especially you baby boomers; I want you to cut it out!

Chances are, your offspring's sartorial preferences are so diametrically opposed to yours, you might as well be on two different planets. Of course the thought is appreciated...kind of, but a gift card will be appreciated a thousand times more. Your adult children are not your contemporaries. While they may be able to relate to you as they mature, the parent-child dynamic hasn't changed.

Dads, stop trying to force pleats and church (or temple or mosque) shoes onto your sons. Moms, your daughter's are just not into the holiday sweater thing. And if you read the previous post, you would know this. I'm not done with you yet, moms (as you hold most of the purchasing power in your household). Your sons are not husbands. Just because you bought your husband that golf shirt, it does not mean that your Williamsburg-dwelling son needs one, too. I don't care if it's a two-for-one sale.

I'm sorry to be so acerbic parents, but it needs to be said. Money and electronics are always the way to go. Trust. I can't begin to tell you how many Closet Detoxes are comprised of items you bought your kids that they have never worn. You've wasted money and they've got dead energy in their wardrobes. How about a Freaks and Geeks DVD collection? Or What's Happening!! on disc. Get the second season, it has the Doobie Brothers two-parter. And no child would be mad at you for getting them a flat screen.

If you MUST, if you absolutely INSIST on buying them clothes 1)You're not listening to me and 2)You still think your kid needs you to buy them new clothes for "school". It helps you feel validated and wanted.

It's time to let go. They don't love you any less. You've (hopefully) raised them to be independent, upstanding citizens. They will never admit to you how much they hate the oversize fleece you bought them, so I'm telling you. You can make it up to them by purchasing the aforementioned DVD collections. You (and they) will be happy you did.

Warmest regards,
Your Style Therapist

Holiday Sweaters: Public Nuisance

2008-12-08T10:07:00.003-05:00

'Tis the season to show truly bad taste in apparel. Whether received or given, Holiday Sweaters rear their ugly turtlenecked heads during the first week of December. Long a sartorial blister, this nuisance of a knit endures.

The Holiday Sweater is an 80s relic that refuses to die. While this is one of my favorite decades fashion-wise, there are certainly some things that are better left in the garment grave: acid wash, ripped denim, hairsprayed bangs, and last but not least, the Holiday Sweater.

There are some that are marginally acceptable. And then there are those that should be shot...if one is bonkers enough to shoot a sweater. Please make sure it's not being worn if you do decide to go that route. If there's a sweater that ever deserved to be shot, it's the Holiday Sweater with a holiday sweater motif.

Should you receive one as a gift this year, it's time to reconsider your relationship with the giver. If the person is a grandmother, she's two generations ahead of you and should be given some slack. Moms, aunts, sisters; etc. should all know better. If you manage to get one from a member of this list, consider it a ploy to sabotage your wardrobe. And in retaliation never, ever wear it around them or anyone else. In fact, it should be a reminder to bring your A-game when you're around them. No person would give this to you if they really loved you. It's akin to getting one of those complimentary bookmarks from Barnes & Noble as a gift. It's that low.

Wrapped Hair is Not An Actual Style

2008-12-05T09:07:00.002-05:00

I suppose I'm on a roll when it comes to this decorum stuff. I get easily riled up. This message is directed towards a select few. There is a type of woman who likes to be seen on the street with her hair wrapped and covered in bobby pins. Usually, the young woman goes to the hair salon and instead of having her hair styled like a normal person, she asks her stylist to wrap her hair up and secure them with the pins. Think of it as leaving the salon with your hair in rollers. They're both on the same level.

If the said woman was to go directly from the salon to her house, there would be very little harm, very little foul. I can't say with confidence no harm, no foul because she's still out in public not bringing her A-game. However, if the windows in her car are tinted, almost no one will see her. When I used to straighen my hair, I wrapped it all of the time in order to keep the frizzies away. On the rare occasion, your Style Therapist would indulge in semi-public wrapped hair...but only if I was going straight into a car and then a house. No, I was not bringing my A-game. Plus, that was before my Style Therapy training. But some women brazenly walk about town as if it were an a legitimate hairstyle.

I remember during my undergrad days, the occasional student would show up to class with this dreadful look. It's become so accepted that some women run their errands with the wrapped hair. They're on the subway, walking down the street, and engaging in regular public life. What does that say about them exactly? Why stop with the bobby pins? Why not come out in fuzzy house slippers and drawers.

Style Therapy is about bringing your A-game—always. I'm not necessarily referring to high-end, fashion forward looks. That's not for everyone. I'm talking about clean and fitted in your signature style. When you present yourself to the world, practically in rollers, you're shouting out that you don't care about yourself or what people think about you. That's not the makings of a rebel or maverick, but a slob...and a damn fool.

Imaginary Basketball

2008-12-04T15:24:00.000-05:00

Style Therapy isn't just about how to dress and wardrobe efficiency. It's also about decorum: civility, protocol, and deportment. Good old fashioned etiquette. And etiquette isn't solely based on how to eat an artichoke. It's doing everything in your power not to behave like, for lack of a better term, a damn fool. Damn fool conjures up a stronger image than merely fool.

Yesterday, while waiting for the train, I discovered a damn fool on the train platform. He was listening to a song on his iPod that he was singing along to. But that's not what made him a damn fool. If I have an exceptional tune on one of my playlists, I may hum along as well.

What made this young man a damn fool was the fact that he was playing imaginary basketball. Yes, imaginary basketball. Instead of one-on-one, it was one-on-no one. He dribbled and made three point shots. I knew they were three point shots because he threw his pretend ball while standing on the edge of the platform and tried to make it across to the other platform. He didn't stop there. His repertoire also included crossovers, pick and rolls, and ali oops. Standing on the yellow caution portion of the platform is dangerous when the train is bolting down the tracks. But practicing your jump shot is another matter altogether.

His imaginary solo game wasn't offensive. It was his acute case of attentionwhoritis, not to be confused with labelwhoritis. Every time he slam dunked his imaginary basketball, he'd turn around to see who was watching. I must admit he caught me looking at him a couple of times. I wasn't in awe. I wanted my face to be read as, "Aww, you poor, damn fool." I'm not sure it worked. Right now he's probably gearing up for the Imaginary Basketball Northeast Semi-finals.

Dear Style Therapist: Can I Keep My Velour Suit?

2008-12-01T10:52:00.001-05:00

Dear Style Therapist,
I am in love with my velour jump suit. I wear it around my apartment when it's cold but I dare not wear it out in public. What are your opinions on wearing velour jumpsuits outside my home... in public. Do you suggest I purchase a regular cotton jumpsuit instead?

Thank you,
MAB on Long Island

Thanks for writing MAB. I'm an advocate of wearing whatever you want around your house...providing that it's not a sweatshirt, fleece, or velour jumpsuit. A velour jumpsuit is like marijuana. It's the gateway "drug" of the sartorial world. It can lead to stronger (read: worse) substances (read: clothes) in your closet. And while you say there is no way you'd wear it outside of your house, that's the same thought process of a lot of crackheads. No one sets out to become a crackhead. It gradually happens.

I propose a good replacement is a denim and sweater jacket/cardigan combo. If you believe this is too formal for indoors, I think you should completely separate your school clothes from your play clothes. Approach your lounging clothes as a time to pamper yourself in luxurious fabrics for maximum comfort. After all, there's no way you'd run an errand in a silk caftan.

SWEATERS

1. Cable-knit jacket

2. Tie-waist sweater

3. Cardigan coat

4. Shawl cardigan

DENIM

1. Skinny jean

2. Tight jeans

3. Skimmer skinny jeans

4. Classic flare

LOUNGEWEAR

1. Paisley caftan

2. Peacock caftan

My point is you could easily be caught outside of your house with your velour on. A caftan is more extreme (and more comfortable), which means you'd think twice before exiting. When you're on the road, you should always, ALWAYS try to look sharp. Velour suits have contributed to our overall sloppiness. Bare midriffs, exposed thongs—not to mention they're not the most flattering things. If the caftan idea is too mystical, and you insist on keeping your velour, I suggest you do something to it that will make it impossible to wear your fuzzy suit in public. Say an Elmo applique?

Dear Style Therapist: Are Hats Indoors Okay?

2008-11-30T11:56:00.003-05:00

Dear Style Therapist, 

After reading your last blog “messy hair only works for trolls”, I found myself thinking about the many ways I try to mask a bad hair day. One of my go-to’s is the slouchy knit hat—you know, the one you would wear on a cold day. Lately I’ve seen many girls resorting to this trick but it does look quite as flattering. 

What is you opinion on wearing a knit hat indoors and as an accessory? Can it be chic or do I just look like a person trying to cover up a bad hair with what my friends describe as a “toilet bowl cleaner” 

Sincerely, 

Bad Hair Day in Queens

Dear BH,

Indoor tam or knit hat wearing isn't a crime in and of itself; but if poorly styled, you could be mistaken for a bag lady. It's also akin to wearing your coat inside. You're apt to get the old cliche suggestion of "Stay a while." I'm going to err on the side of keeping it as a means of keeping your head warm rather than masking unkempt hair. Here are some alternatives for BHD (Bad Hair Days) during all seasons:

1. An updated fedora
2. An updated fedora with a bow
3. A classic Kangol 
4. A silk scarf à la Jackie Kennedy Onassis

And there's always putting in some product and sleeking your hair back for a sharp, low ponytail. You don't always have to cover up.

*Bonus option*

Whack Friday

2008-11-29T09:08:00.002-05:00

I hope everyone had a marvelous Thanksgiving.

Somehow our gluttony that's permissible on Thursday translates into rabid consumption the next day. During my day, I remember a frenzy over Cabbage Patch Kids during this time of year. Of course spending helps boost the economy...as long as you make that $15 monthly minimum on your credit card; but if a life has to be lost in order to get that flat screen for 20% off, it's not worth it.

During the early morning hours on Black Friday, at a Wal-Mart on Long Island, seasonal employee Jdimytai Damour was trampled by a hoard of greedy shoppers who had been pushing against the glass doors of the big box until it finally opened at 5:00 AM. Mr. Damour ended up dying of a heart attack.

I'm not a fan of lines, especially when it comes to buying something. Whether it's the new Comme des Garçons line at H&M, the new iPhone, or the latest Wu-Tang album, I can wait. Despite my impatience, or because of it, I'll avoid these kinds of lines at all costs.

A coworker of the victim was quoted in The Daily News: "I look at these people's faces and I keep thinking one of them could have stepped on him. How could you take a man's life to save $20 on a TV?"

New Mommy Does Not Have to be Synonymous w/ Hot Mess

2008-11-21T14:25:00.001-05:00

Just because you're a New Mommy it does not give you license to be hot mess. I understand the baby is crying and needs to be changed, but this doesn't mean to forget about you for the next 18 years. You can't let yourself go and then blame it on the kid. What happened to accountability? Well, the Style Therapist has the answer. You New Mommies are going through a true kind of madness. You've just evicted a human being from your womb, you're hormones are 10x worse than during puberty, and everyone has forgotten about you and is focusing all of their energies towards the new baby. JT sings about "bringing sexy back", don't let your sexy go anywhere else in the first place!

If you New Mommies follow a few, simple rules, you'll soon be on your way to pointing out the other New Mommies who look haggard and disheveled.

1. Before baby arrives, remove sweats from your property. You spend months and months preparing for the arrival of the little one. How about a little time on yourself? College sweatshirts, baggy sweatpants, oversized tees... get rid of them. Fleece? Absolutely not. Fleece is and sweats are entry level garments into a career of sloppy dressing. They're all bad and a surefire way to looking like you really don't care about yourself. If you think it's hiding your baby weight, think again. It makes you look bulky and bumpy and rolly. If you don't have it, you can't wear it. So lose it!

2. Invest in fitted cardigans (operative word being "fitted") of varying lengths for maximum comfort and polish. Quality knits are comfortable and versatile. Because they're not as structured as wovens, they accommodate weight fluctuations. Invest in pieces you'll continue to wear after you've shed the excess pounds.

3. If hair is the last thing on your mind, have your stylist give you a sharp, low-maintenance cut. If you're not in the mood for scissors, whip out a good hair product that can hold your sleek ponytail in place. No scrunchies. No butterfly clips. No! No! No!

4. Buy dark denim with some stretch. They'll adjust to your weight and hide stains from defective sippy cups.

5. Statement jewelry can dress up any outfit and really make your face glow. It also keeps baby occupied and is handy for teething. Make sure the pieces aren't too small. Babies have a tight grip and can choke on a piece. Also, don't spend too much money on these pieces because baby may break them.

6. Invest in a good, structured blazer. You should have one of these anyway...As with the cardigan, it can polish off jeans and a t-shirt beautifully.

7. Unless you're absolutely flawless, skip this section. For the rest of you, find a quick makeup routine that suits you. Chances are you'll have puffy eyes from the baby waking up over the course of the night. Get a GOOD concealer and foundation. To brighten up eyes and cheeks, get a bronzer or highlighter in a stick form for quick application. Always always always wear mascara. If nothing else, please abide by this rule. And don't forget a tinted lipgloss for easy swiping and added color. And here's a stern warning for those of you who like to live on the edge: Under no circumstances is it ever ok to apply making while driving. Not only are you putting yourself at risk, but also your child and other people on the road. DO THIS AT HOME!

8. A weekly manicure would be nice. It would be Heaven! If babysitters are scarce and the other mommies are ignoring you because they heard you talking trash about them to another mommy at play group, don't just let your tallons grow like claws or walk about with chipped nails. Skip the polish and keep the nails filed and cuticles well moisturized.

9. Shoes are incredibly important. The urge is to get those sneaker slides. Well, murder that urge! I'm trying to get Congress to pass a bill to ban those atrocities. In the meantime, seek other alternatives. There are marvelous flats out there of every persuasion. If you insist on sneakers, keep them sleek and avoid the bulk.

10. Donate, I repeat, DONATE your maternity clothes to a women's shelter or the Salvation Army or Housing Works. Someone else needs these clothes now. How is your child applying to college and you're still wearing the expanding pants from when you were pregnant with him?

Some of you are still out there complaining that you don't have time. When you can't set aside 5 minutes for yourself, you don't have 100% of you to give to your child. And some of you say, "Style Therapist, you don't have any kids. You don't know what you're talking about." There are orthopedic surgeons who have never had bunions. There are ambulance chasing lawyers who have never been in a car accident. Just trust me on this one. Your child will respect you for taking care of yourself.

New Service: advice@swstyletherapy.com

2008-11-19T07:07:00.010-05:00

Not everyone is able to afford a Closet Detox or Wardrobe Renovation. And with the current state of affairs, people who were able to before, aren't necessarily able to now. But is that going to stop me from spreading the Style Therapy doctrine? Negative.

I've devised a democratic program that will hopefully reach the masses. For a small fee of $1.99 (paid through Paypal first), anyone can write to me directly with a style conundrum and get professional advice.

Some time ago, a friend of mine purchased a pair of Mary Poppins boots on sale. There's nothing wrong with Mary Poppins boots if your mode of transportation is an open umbrella. There was such a pronounced disconnect between my friend and the shoes, that she never wore them. They didn't suit her personality, nor her style. They went with absolutely nothing in her closet and took up space under her desk at work for months. She tried to pawn them off on on eBay to someone else many times. It took a while, but someone eventually relieved her of the boot burden. As you all know, I'm not a fan of holding onto anything you don't wear. She sold the brand new, designer boots for a lot less than she paid; but it was better than them sitting in her closet unused. She said she would have rather spent $1.99 to get my objective advice than be out of several hundred dollars.

For less than the price of your daily coffee, you're able to get unbiased feedback from a trained professional. Not sure what to wear on a job interview? Meeting the in-laws for the first time? Blind date? Or do you have something in your closet that you never wear and are clueless as to why. Make your coffee at home and send me your concerns, because my office is officially open to the public! Please see the steps below:

1. Log on to your Paypal account, click on the "Send money" tab and type "advice@swstyletherapy.com" in the "To" box, and "1.99" in the "Amount" box. Remember, one fee per image/query. If you have more than one image/query, please issue the correct amount (2 @ 3.98, 3 @ 5.97, or the special offer package: 10 for $15)

2. Send an e-mail to advice@swstyletherapy.com with any style issue you have. Although an accompanying image is preferred, it's not required. I'll e-mail a response with detailed suggestions and thorough advice.

3. Due to a high volume of queries, responses may take up to 12 hours. If I think your problem is a common one and our e-mail exchange is able to benefit more people, I'll ask your permission to post our conversation on this blog with or without your image(s). If you want the exchange to remain private, no worries.

***If you've got exceptional style, you'll be in the running for Style Therapy Hero of the Week. Of course I'll ask for your permission before posting your image.***

Messy Hair Only Works for Trolls

2008-11-18T19:19:00.000-05:00

There's something going on with hair today and it isn't right. People have been walking around, looking like true hot messes with their hair unkempt. It's morally wrong to have an Afghan Hound walking around looking better than you.

There's a young lady in several of my classes whose hair is never, ever combed. If the problem only existed in the morning, I'd assume that she had been rushing and forgot to run a brush through her hair. And if the problem were strictly PM, it would have meant the possibility of a long and stressful day. But she always seems frazzled, with her hair pasted to her forehead and cheeks. I'm not sure what to make of all of this. Often, she'll run her hand from the front to back; sometimes creating a pompadour. Other times, she'll sweep her hair from one side to the next, resulting in a mock comb-over. My suggestions to her are few, and easy to accomplish:

1. Take a big dollop of any Gatsby product, run it through wet hair, and create a chignon. It's sleek, sophisticated and she never has to worry about looking sweaty.

2. Take it all off for a low-maintenance GI Jane look. Sure it'll encourage stares, but that's from jealous women who spend their weekends under the hairdryer for hours over the weekend.

3. Invest in a good, quality wig or lace front weave. Don't forget to get the one with baby hairs! Makes for a more realistic look. Unlike her natural hair, she doesn't have to worry about the matted look she's prone to.

Now hold on a minute, you gents are not off the hook. Yesterday, on the R train (shocked that it wasn't the L?), I saw a young grizzly bear. At least I think it was a young grizzly bear. He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, speaking to a young man and staring at people. But when your chest hair connects to your neck hair connects to your facial hair connects to your head of hair: that makes you a grizzly bear!

I blame Boho Chic for my classmate's current state. Just because MK does it, that doesn't make it ok for the rest of us. And as for the young man, I really do believe he was a grizzly bear. I can't attribute his condition to anything other than being a grizzly bear.

Heroine Chic

2008-11-14T12:24:00.006-05:00

The other day, I ran into a friend on the train...the same train as that dreadful PAO who applied her concealer in front of the world. We were both on our way to a Decorative Arts class that's a part of our graduate program in Visual Culture. She had on a gorgeous Issey Miyake cocoon coat, which she wore often, that was purchased in her hometown of Montreal. The color is the deepest, most beautiful navy. And the pleats, oh the beautiful pleats! That being said, it was a pretty cold day and I wondered how she was able to stay warm with such a thin layer. Her style is impeccable and she takes big risks with prints and colors. So for her to suffer for fashion wouldn't be unheard of; but, on the other hand, she was highly intelligent and pragmatic about matters, too.

When we got to the unbearably hot classroom, we both removed out coats and placed them on the backs of our chairs. I had to get up to do something, but when I returned to my seat, I noticed that there had been a black, fleece jacket underneath the Issey Miyake the entire time. The best part about it was that it was from Old Navy. My classmate was a Style Therapy Hero (STH) in that she mixed high and low...even if the low was concealed. I'm sure there are instances when the Old Navy jacket reveals itself, and since she's an STH, she's a pro at properly rocking it.

Stop GAWSH Now!!

2008-11-13T07:39:00.003-05:00

Admittedly, I'm one of the most ornery people on the planet. The littlest things drive me insane. McDonald's Duo and Pizza Fiend. And don't forget all of the PAOs. There's no time like the present to add yet another egregious act: Grown A** Women Stroking Hair (GAWSH). I've only begun to notice this in 2008 as an epidemic.

I remember back in junior high, a girl and I were on the outs with a mutual friend. So as females do, and continue to do well into adulthood, we started talking about the other girl behind her back. The girl, who I'll refer to as Amy, told me that our mutual friend, who I'll call Twirl-a-Girl, spent the night at her house over the weekend. They had a minor disagreement over nothing at all. However, it had upset Twirl-a-Girl so much that she sat up the entire night twirling her hair. Now this was back in 1990, when perms were rampant. The year before, in grade 6, Twirl-a-Girl had gotten a perm. A year later she had failed to get a retouch and the roots were growing in. But due to her nervous habit, Twirl-a-Girl had ingeniously maintained her curls!

In any case, I'm sure today her hair twirling and stroking continues on. But she's always done that, so I can't be mad at her. However, this new batch is out of control. Whether they're walking down the street, on the train reading a book, or speaking to another person, there they are with the most vacant expressions on their faces, stroking, stroking, stroking. Hair twirling can be flirtatious, and even achieve results (like Twirl-a-Girl's perm maintenance). But hair stroking?

What bothers me the most is how stupid, vapid, insipid (and other words ending in "id" that I can't think of right now) these women look. They're not gaining anything out of the stroking. Often, the hair ends up looking ratty and ravaged. Why not (like a proper lady), find a powder room and run a comb or brush through it quickly. The great Marsha Brady brushed her hair 100 times. That's dedication. Hair stroking on the subway can be viewed as public grooming, and for that, it's officially a Style Therapy no no.

Driving the Point Home

2008-11-12T21:45:00.000-05:00

It's no secret that public application of makeup is a big Style Therapy no-no. Of course, the quick swipe of lip gloss or Chapstick is permissible. I thought the woman with the eyelash curler on the subway platform was bad, but today was by far the most egregious account to date. Naturally, I was on the L train. This is the same train where I tried to escape the McDonald's Duo only to be met by the Pizza Fiend. I was peering out of my periphery, trying desperately not to look directly at today's offender, because I knew I'd be grossed out.

This woman had the unmitigated audacity to whip out her concealer and start dabbing the bags underneath her eyes. Once again, I was incredulous. I thought I'd seen it all with the eyelash curler, but the lady today really took it to the next level. Typically, Public Application Offenders (PAO) wipe on some foundation, blush, MAYBE eyeshadow, and finally, lipstick. Never, in my life, have I seen CONCEALER applied. The whole point of it is to look like you don't have bags under your eyes. It's akin to doing your comb-over or stuffing your bra in public. The illusion is gone.

But the concealer wasn't the only thing. You know that trick that some women do with the highlighter in the corner of the eyes? It's supposed to make your eyes look brighter. However, it just looks like you put highlighter there to make your eyes look brighter; like there's random white stuff in the corners. It's something best left to the professionals. But, there she went. She did yet another trick that's supposed to be a secret in public. We know that mascara is not a secret. Neither is lipstick. But concealer and eye highlighter are supposed to be kept under wraps.

Several hours later, I'm still confused as to what kind of person would do that. Isn't there a better way to get attention? Breakdancing or singing doowop on a moving train are far better ways to get attention...more respectable, too.

The Call of Duty

2008-11-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

If a cop sees a crime taking place, it is his obligation to intervene. If a doctor is playing golf and notices someone struck down by lightning, it is her duty to get involved. Since members of law enforcement and the medical community are expected to use their expertise to diffuse situations, does the same rule apply to the Style Therapist?

I have a professor who habitually wears lipstick on her teeth. Not a subtle, bubblegum pink shade. I'm referring to the heavy duty, Gothic dark maroon kind. We tell friends when they have an exposed booger. If we see a person with TP on their shoes, we alert them, too. And don't forget the proverbial spinach stuck in the teeth during a blind date. Who eats spinach on a date anyway?

But in the teacher/student relationship it may not be the best road to take. It's not even the lipstick on her teeth that concerns me the most. It's the fact that each week the smeared color gets progressively more noticeable; to the point where her entire top row is that Satan's red color. My concern is that I think she's doing it intentionally as if it were a part of her personality: the zany lady with the messy mouth. We all know at least one relative of Mme. Messy Mouth. Whether it be the young bohemian with the ratty hair that hasn't been cut in months and washed in weeks or the young man who insists on smelly skinny jeans with holes and stains to show how above appearances he is. He's a true thinker you know.

I suppose that I've answered my own question. After all, there's solicited Style Therapy and then there's meddling. No one loves a meddling mother-in-law, but that's to be expected. A meddling Style Therapist has the capacity to really overstep bounds. While I've made my decision to butt out, I'd like to hear your feedback.